Apr 5, 2011
The Fly 2 (1989)
Eric Stoltz was so very young here. And it had that girl from Melrose in it! A gross yet unsatisfying sequel. I took no notes, how weird right? Cannot recommend unless you are a rabid (I am killing myself with the funny here people) fan.
Apr 5, 2011
This was so much filthier than I remembered! A plenitude of humping and semen jokes. How can that be a bad thing! There is no gore lacking and it is loud, crass, vulgar and hilarious. Plus, where else will you Henry Rollins wearing pink ladies sweatpants. Except at his home maybe? I don't judge. Big awesome movie. Go watch it now.
Apr 6, 2011
Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows
I think Chris and I are about the only people who liked this movie. The characters are tropes in the most literal sense, the writing was pretty juvenile and it doesn't even take off until the 3rd act. Yet, I find it kind of compelling. I like the missing time stuff, and also the witch girl is so fucking fluffy bunny it makes me laugh. I have no idea why this gels in my brain but it does. Go figure. OMG EVIL WITCH!
Apr 6, 2011
Al Pacino gets to look for the "HOMO KILLER ON THE LOOSE" as the headlines from this caring sensitively shot thoughtful little drama explains. Or he gets to look in leather daddy clubs where there is no boundaries and a moustache (not the ironic ones of today) is de rigueur. This movie truly left me confused at the ending, and I was paying attention this time! The scenes of gore are fairly decent and seeing how damn dirty NYC was is a set piece on it's own. I can't say it was fun to watch (except to moustache count) but it was a slice of .. something. I did need a shower after it was over.
Apr 7, 2011
Beyond Re-Animator (2003)
Oh Herbert West, you can't keep a good re-animator down can you? Now our intrepid hero (?) is in prison but the hijinks's continue with a new whiny assistant. Truly gross with some great gags (both gore and the funny kind!) this is pretty darn entertaining stuff here. The ending is a gong show of prison movie meets grindhouse gore fest with a torso that just won't quit. Really fun. Really really fun.
Apr 7, 2011
Live Evil (2009)
There is no excuse for a movie with this many recognisable faces in it to look as shitty as it does. Like it was filmed on my cell phone from 2004. It looks worse than the home movies my husband made me watch when we first started dating in 1997. THAT HE MADE YEARS BEFORE THEN. The sets were clearly like crew members houses or something, and the writing? Holy drive a doughnut truck through those plot holes bad. Not only did it look shitty, it was shitty. Shitty shitty shit shit. The Vampire party scene in particular was such a terrible anti-thesis of glamorous Vampire awesomeness to watch, it hurt my feelings along with my sensibilities. This made me want to punch a baby really hard. It was that bad. A STUPID DOLL VAMPIRE BABY. Holy hell what a mess.
Apr 8, 2011
Fright Night (1985)
Everyone loves this movie. It's funny and campy and gross. Three things that go good together. Like tuna fish, mayo and pickles. The Horror Movie Community is up in arms about this being re-made but I'm excited to see it. I always thought there was one incredibly miscast role (besides Jerry's sidekick who was a smirking douche.. but I digress) in this and hope to see if that can fix it. I'm looking at you Amanda Bearse. You were neither cute girl next door or hot slut vamp. Just a creepy mom haired squealer who let her boyfriend treat her like garbage. However, Chris Sarandon was pretty fucking spectacular as Jerry. He will be hard to replace. What a delicious flick. And I can still hear "Hahahaha BREWSTER" in my head.
Apr 9, 2011
La Horde (2009)
First French Zombie movie I've seen. It looked fantastique! You never know why the zombies happen, or have any back story on it at all. You just get tossed into a cop revenge drama (which was not that well thought out or written) that goes South really really fast. The characters were mediocre aside from the Old Man Trope they pick up who is a welcome addition at that point. The effects were decent, but it left me slightly cold. Don't really know if something was lost in translation but I couldn't have given less of a shit about the people in this world. They were all icky. Maybe my cereal box French doesn't allow for that kind of cross border idealism. Meh.
Apr 10, 2011
Apr 11, 2011
Waxwork 2: Lost In Time
I remember liking these a lot more the first time around. The characters seemed like barely sketched out ideas of characters than fully fleshed ones. I think they just went with what place holders they had and then had to make the best of it. The first one seemed to be the better of the two but number 2 did have a great appearance by Bruce Campbell that was the highlight of that sad mess. Regardless, neither of these stood up to the test of time (haha see what I did there?) and I would say nay to Waxwork. 1 and 2.
Apr 11, 2011
This short by Nacho Cerda has one of the shortest IMDB descriptors ever. It tells you the whole film. If you don't want to be spoiled quit reading this, and don't read that either. You've been warned.
Yeah yeah, necrophilia. How can one be blase about it? This had a moment that shocked me so much I gasped out loud and scared my dog. But you can't sustain that. Cerda does try, but weirdly, this could have been cut by almost 10 minutes and still had the effect he wanted. Disturbing and truly gross, I'd suggest this only for the truly sick. Which I am one of apparently. Well isn't that nice?
Apr 11, 2011
Jurassic Park (1993)
Almost 20 years later and this movie still works on all levels. The effects look great still, that T-rex is one of my favourite movie baddies of all time. Gorgeously shot, wonderfully told tale of science run amok. Classic monsters never looked as good as these. LOVE.