Thursday, September 29, 2011

Memoirs of an Invisble Man, Malicious, Contagion, Red State, House (1986), Slither, Hellraiser 1&2, Jaws, The Night Flier, The Birds, Lair of the White Worm, The Beast must Die, Taste the Blood of Dracula. Dracula AD 1972, Scars of Dracula, Growth, Dracula has Risen From the Grave, Dracula (1958), The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires

Wow. What a fuckeree this is! So many movies, so little blog. sigh.

Sept 7
Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)

Chris couldn't believe I hadn't seen this. Actually neither can I. It is a totally solid John Carpenter entry. Although I have a hard time seeing Chevy Chase as anyone except Pierce from Community. I keep exclaiming "he is so young/skinny/not hideous!" Really good story here. Good effects too!

Sept 8
Malicious (1996)

Seriously? Molly Ringwald is a psycho? MOLLY RINGWALD? Dude. This entry into the stalker genre is hilariously wonderful. Ms Ringwald (who goes full on topless for this role!) is so totally miscast it would be kind of sad if it was so funny. I don't know if I could recommend this, but if you want to see her boobs it may be for you.

Sept 9
Contagion (2011)

This is the kind of flick that if you are at all germaphobic you will want to avoid (like the plague!). It made me so aware of touching my face it almost hurt. Super scary in the so real I don't want to think about way, that I was a little freaked out for a few days after. It does have fantastic performances (especially by my boyfriend Matt Damon) AND you get to see Gwyneth Paltrow die! Loved it!!

Sept 10
Red State (2011)

Scary church people are scary. Tight story, good acting, Kevin Smith knows how to make a good scary movie.

Sept 12
House (1986)

I remember this being way scarier than it was this time around. In fact this didn't hold up at all. Maybe 'Nam is all so 20 years ago but it was really mediocre. I also thought it was funnier than it was. :((((

Sept 13
Slither (2006)

Genius. Just plain genius. Gross, funny, shocking and a nice ambiguous ending. Did I mention gross? And features an old pal from back in the day Corb Lund. Yee haw!

Sept 14/15
Hellraiser 1/2 (1987/88)

Come on. These are awesome. Except they ruined that weird red meat in Chinese cooking for me. It just looks like Hellraiser leftovers.

Sept 16
Jaws (1975)

How could I have been 7 when this came out? I swear I remember it from back then. My parents did take me to some to sketchy drive-in's. You know, they would have some cartoons, a kids movie than BOOM! GROWN UP TIME. I recall being awake for some stuff I probably shouldn't have seen. Real quiet like. YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT!

The Night Flier (1997)

This was truly gross. I was surprised at the gore level. It was way better than I had anticipated, I really kinda dug it. It was cheesy but fun. One of the better King adaptations. I KNOW RIGHT??

Sept 18
The Birds (1958)

I wish there were movies like this. Canon.

Sept 19
Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Twisted. Way more than I recalled. Man, that UK stuff back then was whack. I loved it. Goofy as it seems now, it's so much fun to watch. And gorier too!

Sept 20
The Beast Must Die (1974)

I almost always like these 70's flicks. The atmosphere alone is usually enough to captivate me. This however STUNK. Like rotten chicken bones covered in black bananas bad. Terrible plot, minimal "story" and some amazingly bad acting. Ugh. I can't even.. blech. ugh.

Sept 21
Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Look, I love all these Hammer movies with Christopher Lee in them. He was the balls man. This was a somewhat slapped together story but it was still fun. Those bloody eyeballs freak me the fuck out.

Sept 22
Dracula A.D.1972 (1972)

This was a much more swingin' entry into Dracula's world. It was absolutely the best "modern" Dracula Hammer did I think. LOVE.

Sept 23
Scars of Dracula (1970)

WOW! Drac really gets to sink his teeth into this role. He is NASTY. Not usual vamp nasty, but brutal. Standard plot stuff, but Lee really stepped it up here. LOVE THIS!! Also: they must have gotten a good deal on the reconstituting blood powder. They use it enough.

Sept 25
Growth (2009)

Chris found little gem. I have a fear (like almost all NORMAL people) of parasites and wow.. this did not help that all. It was a surprisingly good low budget bug flick. It was gross enough, and the story totally drew me in. I do have to note the end was slightly confusing (wait until the credits are over to see what I mean) but eh. I am always happy to find little weird movies like this, it helps restore my faith that the Michael Bay's of the world won't take over. Unless they get the bug too....

Sept 26
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)

My notes say "awesome". Let's leave it there shall we?

Sept 27
Dracula (1958)

I've already reviewed this here. It was still a pleasure to watch Peter Cushing star in this mish mash of Drac stories.

Sept 28
Legend of 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

This was one of the strangest co-productions I've watched in like forever. Peter Cushing reprises his Van Helsing role and goes to China. I have no idea how the fuck this nutjob of a flick got made, but I'm kinda glad it did. It's not cinema gold or anything, but damn it was weird. Probably only for true genre fans, this is a hilarious entry into Hammer's legacy. Christopher Lee was offered the Dracula role but after he read the script he (wisely) turned it down. :D

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Grave Encounters, The Haunted House Project, Fright Night (2011), The Ward, John Carpenter's Body Bags, Fertile Ground, Camp Hell, Blade 2&3, Tucker & Dale vs Evil, Inferno, Brain Dead, Basket Case 1 2 & 3, Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Prophecy 3, Attack The Block, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011), Vault Of Horror

Aug 17, 2011
Grave Encounters (2011)

This is listed with a 92 min running time. I felt like it was at least 2.5 hours. In some other universe I'm STILL watching it. It was a found footage (fake) deal. A spoof on those ghost hunter type shows. It was ok once it got going, but Jesus.. it was LONG.

Aug 18, 2011
The Haunted House Project (2010)

Same movie as the one above but from South Korea. Batting 1000 here. :/

Aug 19, 2011
Fright Night (2011)

OMG. I totally loved this. It was dark and funny and scary and current and OMG I LOVED IT. Colin Farrell is absolutely terrifying in it. It is the best kind of re-make. It updates, entertains and is all just amazing ponies and unicorns. GO SEE THIS. NOW. 

Aug 21, 2011
The Ward (2011)

Release day for this I was all set to make Chris take the day off and go! But do you think they played it here even after that shitty Calgary Movies site that they were? NO. I was MAD. But now, I'M MORE MAD CAUSE IT WAS REALLY GOOD AND I WANT TO SEE IT ALL BIG. Jerks. Anyways, it was awesome to see Carpenter directing again and this is a nice solid little entry. Good acting, tight story. Well done!

Aug 22, 2011
John Carpenter's Body Bags (1993)

What a sweet little love letter to genre fans. Lots of inside jokes, nudges and winks. Totally fun anthology with some cheesy gold performances. Mark Hamill is of note in that category (surprise! not). This was hilariously fun to watch. I want more please!

Aug 23, 2011
Fertile Ground (2010)

I feel like I've seen this movie like a million times. The sadly child free lady getting sucked into a dreamy location and all of a sudden turning up preggers EVEN WHEN SHE SHOULDN'T BE!! Blah blah blah. Boring, trite and worst of all NOT SCARY. This was a dried out dog turd of a movie. Skip it. 

Aug 24, 2011
Camp Hell (2010)

I don't really know what this was about except the Christians in this movie really don't want anyone masturbating. AT ALL. IT IS EVIL. Oh and Journey (the band) is the way to the devil. Not Slayer, JOURNEY. This movie was dumb. 

Aug 25/26, 2011
Blade 2 & 3 (2002/2004)

Holy shit I love these movies. The end.

Aug 28, 2011
Tucker & Dale Vs Evil (again)

Had to show a friend this because everyone should see it.

Aug 29, 2011
Inferno (1980)

Oh Argento! You have such moments of beauty in your movies. The underwater scene takes my breath away in the very best way. The batshit crazy of the cat killing dude getting his just desserts, it's just spectacular. I love this loose sequel to Suspiria, it makes me a little sad to know that the Mother of Tears is the end result, but this, this is gorgeous. Also, my enormous girl crush on Daria Nicolodi? Still there. 

Aug 30, 2011
Brain Dead (1990)

I think this was the first movie to use a bit of mind fuckery that has really become prevalent in today's film making world. I don't wanna spoil it for you so don't read anymore. For you brave souls who are fool enough to keep reading: OMG HE IS TOTALLY THE MENTAL PATIENT THE WHOLE TIME. So yeah.

Aug 31, 2011
Basket Case 1, 2 &3 (1982/90/92)

That was a lot of freaks to watch in one sitting. 

Sept 1, 2011
Tales From The Crypt (1972)

Amicus productions are always fun to watch. This is no different. Based on the EC Comics, this is a fun little anthology of terror! Joan Collins was a lovely young murderess in her day wasn't she? I love these movies. They are fun to watch, and have such delightfully fantastic sets. Retro doesn't even begin to cover it. And evil (almost) never prevails!

Sept 2, 2011
The Prophecy 3, (2000)

I had to finish the series out. Walken is again, great. The rest of the story is a bit uneven, but I never felt like shutting it off. So that is something. Right?

Sept 4, 2011
Attack the Block (2011)

Yet another movie that didn't get released here. How lame is the studio system now or what? It makes me furious that they release such shite on 15 billion screens yet can't spare 1 in a city for something different in case some fuckwit misses a showing of the Smurfs. DIE HOLLYWOOD DIE. Erm in any case, this was absolutely fucking brilliant. Truly funny, gross and does something amazing. Makes you root for someone you are first shown to be an utter turd. That is good film-making my friends. One of the best movies I've seen in recent times, horror or not. 

Sept 5, 2011
Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011)

Jesus fucking Christ my husband hated this. He went on and on and on and on about it. He pulled it apart faster than a fat kid with a cinnamon bun (hey! I resemble that remark! mmm... cinnamon). I admit the story was weak and it did have the movie killing Katie Holmes in it, but it worked enough on me to make me lift my feet off the floor. It was gorgeously shot and does have that Del Toro look about it and I love that, but apparently I am alone in this assessment. I think I can still hear Chris bitching about it....

Sept 6, 2011
Vault of Horror (1973)

Another Amicus production. I found this one to be a little less solid than TftC, but still enjoyable. Fun fun fun.