Grave Encounters, The Haunted House Project, Fright Night (2011), The Ward, John Carpenter's Body Bags, Fertile Ground, Camp Hell, Blade 2&3, Tucker & Dale vs Evil, Inferno, Brain Dead, Basket Case 1 2 & 3, Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Prophecy 3, Attack The Block, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011), Vault Of Horror

Aug 17, 2011

Grave Encounters (2011)

This is listed with a 92 min running time. I felt like it was at least 2.5 hours. In some other universe I'm STILL watching it. It was a found footage (fake) deal. A spoof on those ghost hunter type shows. It was ok once it got going, but Jesus.. it was LONG.

Aug 18, 2011

The Haunted House Project (2010)

Same movie as the one above but from South Korea. Batting 1000 here. :/

Aug 19, 2011

Fright Night (2011)

OMG. I totally loved this. It was dark and funny and scary and current and OMG I LOVED IT. Colin Farrell is absolutely terrifying in it. It is the best kind of re-make. It updates, entertains and is all just amazing ponies and unicorns. GO SEE THIS. NOW. 

Aug 21, 2011

The Ward (2011)

Release day for this I was all set to make Chris take the day off and go! But do you think they played it here even after that shitty Calgary Movies site that they were? NO. I was MAD. But now, I'M MORE MAD CAUSE IT WAS REALLY GOOD AND I WANT TO SEE IT ALL BIG. Jerks. Anyways, it was awesome to see Carpenter directing again and this is a nice solid little entry. Good acting, tight story. Well done!

Aug 22, 2011

John Carpenter's Body Bags (1993)

What a sweet little love letter to genre fans. Lots of inside jokes, nudges and winks. Totally fun anthology with some cheesy gold performances. Mark Hamill is of note in that category (surprise! not). This was hilariously fun to watch. I want more please!

Aug 23, 2011

Fertile Ground (2010)

I feel like I've seen this movie like a million times. The sadly child free lady getting sucked into a dreamy location and all of a sudden turning up preggers EVEN WHEN SHE SHOULDN'T BE!! Blah blah blah. Boring, trite and worst of all NOT SCARY. This was a dried out dog turd of a movie. Skip it. 

Aug 24, 2011

Camp Hell (2010)

I don't really know what this was about except the Christians in this movie really don't want anyone masturbating. AT ALL. IT IS EVIL. Oh and Journey (the band) is the way to the devil. Not Slayer, JOURNEY. This movie was dumb. 

Aug 25/26, 2011

Blade 2 & 3 (2002/2004)

Holy shit I love these movies. The end.

Aug 28, 2011

Tucker & Dale Vs Evil (again)

Had to show a friend this because everyone should see it.

Aug 29, 2011

Inferno (1980)

Oh Argento! You have such moments of beauty in your movies. The underwater scene takes my breath away in the very best way. The batshit crazy of the cat killing dude getting his just desserts, it's just spectacular. I love this loose sequel to Suspiria, it makes me a little sad to know that the Mother of Tears is the end result, but this, this is gorgeous. Also, my enormous girl crush on Daria Nicolodi? Still there. 

Aug 30, 2011

Brain Dead (1990)

I think this was the first movie to use a bit of mind fuckery that has really become prevalent in today's film making world. I don't wanna spoil it for you so don't read anymore. For you brave souls who are fool enough to keep reading: OMG HE IS TOTALLY THE MENTAL PATIENT THE WHOLE TIME. So yeah.

Aug 31, 2011

Basket Case 1, 2 &3 (1982/90/92)

That was a lot of freaks to watch in one sitting. 

Sept 1, 2011

Tales From The Crypt (1972)

Amicus productions are always fun to watch. This is no different. Based on the EC Comics, this is a fun little anthology of terror! Joan Collins was a lovely young murderess in her day wasn't she? I love these movies. They are fun to watch, and have such delightfully fantastic sets. Retro doesn't even begin to cover it. And evil (almost) never prevails!

Sept 2, 2011

The Prophecy 3, (2000)

I had to finish the series out. Walken is again, great. The rest of the story is a bit uneven, but I never felt like shutting it off. So that is something. Right?

Sept 4, 2011

Attack the Block (2011)

Yet another movie that didn't get released here. How lame is the studio system now or what? It makes me furious that they release such shite on 15 billion screens yet can't spare 1 in a city for something different in case some fuckwit misses a showing of the Smurfs. DIE HOLLYWOOD DIE. Erm in any case, this was absolutely fucking brilliant. Truly funny, gross and does something amazing. Makes you root for someone you are first shown to be an utter turd. That is good film-making my friends. One of the best movies I've seen in recent times, horror or not. 

Sept 5, 2011

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011)

Jesus fucking Christ my husband hated this. He went on and on and on and on about it. He pulled it apart faster than a fat kid with a cinnamon bun (hey! I resemble that remark! mmm... cinnamon). I admit the story was weak and it did have the movie killing Katie Holmes in it, but it worked enough on me to make me lift my feet off the floor. It was gorgeously shot and does have that Del Toro look about it and I love that, but apparently I am alone in this assessment. I think I can still hear Chris bitching about it....

Sept 6, 2011

Vault of Horror (1973)

Another Amicus production. I found this one to be a little less solid than TftC, but still enjoyable. Fun fun fun.

Super, Stakeland, Your Highness, Class of 1984, Don't be Afraid of the Dark, Black Sabbath, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Shrine, Fright Night 2, Quarantine 2: The Terminal, The Silent Scream, The Torture Graden, The Kiss of the Vampire (1962), Final Destination 5, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane, X Men 1&2, Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

Holy shit I let this get away from me again. Rest assured (all 3 of you who care) movies are still being watched, just lazy ass me keeps forgetting to blog about them. Sigh. 

July 29, 2011

Super (2010)

Let's just go with disturbing. It's the only word that sums up how messed up this is. I was thinking it may be a grittier Kickass but it's fucking NOT. Very not what I was expecting from James Gunn. I don't honestly think many people will enjoy this. It was tough to watch. And rapey. :(

July 31, 2011

Stakeland, (2010)

Grim, gritty, great. That's all the notes I have for this. It's really an amazing film. Post-apocalyptic and heartbreaking. LOVED IT.

Aug 1, 2011

Your Highness (2011)

Holy shit gross. Like serious gross. I totally enjoyed this. Hits all the high points of a sword and sorcery flick and the funny stoner comedy. Did I say how gross it was? It really is!!

Aug 2, 2011

Class of 1984 (1981)

Made in T.O. Not really sure why high school kids who run drugs/hookers/and apparently the entire criminal under world bother with actually GOING to HS let alone hassling the music teacher but ok. Roddy McDowell is awesome in this. Ok for a time piece, but not really great. 

Aug 3, 2011

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)

I so remember this when I was small. Scared the freaky shit right out of me and it and Trilogy of Terror provided me with fodder for nightmares that follow me to this day. Well done! It's still spooky to see this, and I know the big budget re-make is out this month. I bet this still wins on the creep factor. Maybe even because of the decor. I mean who hired that guy? 

Aug 4, 2011

Black Sabbath (1963)

A Drop of Water alone is worth watching this. I can still see her face in my dreams. :( Otherwise Boris Karloff is delightful as usual. He's like a spooky Grampa!

Aug 5, 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Amazing. The CG is brilliant and Andy Serkis deserves an Oscar. I had a hard time watching some of this so BINGO. Effective movie. Really really good. Big ass thumbs up.

Aug 7, 2011

The Shrine (2010)

Really weird Polish co-production about a statue that evil's you up good. I was pleasantly surprised by this. 

Aug 8, 2011

Fright Night 2, 1988

How how I not seen this? It was really mediocre after that awesome sauce that was the first one. Charley just isn't that compelling. Oh well. It wasn't terrible but..

Aug 9, 2011

Quarantine 2: The Terminal (2010)

Better than I expected. Low expectations FTW! Some good jump scares and it was gross. Nice afternoon diversion.

Aug 10, 2011

The Silent Scream (1980)

I should have liked this more than I did. But I didn't. It was slow and boring and everyone was ugly. The End.

Aug 11, 2011

The Torture Garden (1967)

Oh how I loved this! Peter Cushing is terrific in it. The stories are fun and LOVE the wrap around. A super excellent horror anthology. Watched this for free on the new Crackle service. They have a decent selection and did I mention FREE?? You go Crackle!

Aug 12, 2011

The Kiss Of The Vampire (1962)

One of Hammer's offerings. Worth it for the sets alone. Entertaining but not as solid as some of their other films. Still, better than most throw away horror flicks nowadays. 

Aug 13, 2011

Final Destination 5 (2011)

I'm over 3D. For reals. Please stop FORCING me to see stuff in it. Ok having said that, this was a nifty little trick of a flick. Fits in with the rest of the universe and is a decent summer popcorn muncher. It touched on two particular neuroses for Chris and I so was fantastically effective. Good fun. 

Aug 13, 2011

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

HOLY SHIT ON A SHINGLE. I really loved this. It is a shame it's been buried in a vault for no one to enjoy as it was super fun to watch. Gory, funny, unexpected. Really outstanding. Catch it if you can. If you know what I mean. 

Aug 14/15, 2011

X Men 1/2, (2000/2003)

Chris wanted to re-watch these. They were fun. 

Aug 16, 2011

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009)

Fairly mindless fun. It's always nice to see Danielle Harris (who does a bang up job in Stakeland BTW) and Bill Moseley working. The plot? Well.. when the lead monster ghost thing has huge fake boobs and is supposed to have been a poor demented thing living in an asylum all her life, you know what you're getting yourself into. Fine for what it was.

Mortuary, Scream 4, Captain America, The Hitcher (2007), Dylan Dog Dead Of Night, Cry Wolf, Society, Brain Damage, Satanic Rites of Dracula

 

July 20, 2011

Mortuary (2005)

Tobe Hooper directed this. I've seen this before but I for the life of me couldn't remember most of it. I do like that Tasha Yar from ST:NG was the Mom. Also; unhappy endings make me happy. I LOVED the crazy acid flashback Aunty. She was awesome. The movie was eh.. forgettable I suppose. Which is why I forgot I saw it in the first place. Durrr. 

July 21, 2011

Scream 4 (2011)

I coloured my shoes black while I watched (loose term used here) this. It was so seriously bland that the sharpie running out was providing me with more tension than the movie. Happily I got my shoes all done and they look amazing. The movie? What movie? Oh yeah. It was on. That is as good as it got. :/

July 22, 2011

Captain American (2011)

It fulfilled this quotient as fantasy. The only woman in the whole movie had gorgeous lipstick. It was pretty good as a popcorn flick. Sure, take the kids. I was sad the Red Skull wasn't juicier, but Hugo Weaving is always fun to watch. And Cap had some totally ripped abs. Also, the CGI making Cap look like a 100lb weakling was AMAZEBALLS. Good job!

July 23, 2011

The Hitcher (2007)

Holy shit Sean Bean makes for a good scary heavy! He was the shining bright light in this otherwise dull remake. It was nice and gross too. So yay for guts!

July 24, 2011

Dylan Dog Dead Of Night (2010)

This was way better than we thought it was gonna be. Superman still can't act but his sidekick more than made up for it. The effects were ok, but did I mention his sidekick? Sam Huntington? He was really good! Peter Stormare (who scares me just by breathing) seemed to lift his performance right out of Constantine so was fine too. All in all, I was pleasantly surprised by this. Low expectations FTW!

July 25, 2011

Cry Wolf (2005)

This movie looked like it should have been made in the 90's. Over plucked eyebrows and turtlenecks were abundant. The movie itself I quite liked. Decent twist, fun to watch. Nice afternoon diversion. 

July 26, 2011

Society (1989)

Another Brian Yuzna grossout! Where else would you get to see the fantastic Billy Warlock emote like a champ? This movie is a total batshit crazy mess. In the best way possible. I'm still not really sure why the stuff that happens, actually does happen. But isn't that one of the charms of a Yuzna flick. Not for the weak of stomach. Butthead.

July 27, 2011

Brain Damage (1988)

Wow. Aylmer is a wormy thing that sings, dances, eats brains and gets you fucked up like a superstar. Problem is, he destroys you while doing this. I so love this messed up world that Frank Henenlotter creates! Grimy, weird, and nonsensical, this place is scary and twisted. I love this movie with my whole heart. 

July 28, 2011

Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)

Dracula wants to end the world? Really? This is a strange little flick from Hammer. It is set in the modern world, and the highlight for me was seeing Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous as the damsel in distress. And a bodacious red head to boot! Odd movie, but fun. It was on the same disc as Argento's Deep Red Hatchet Murders I found at a used DVD place. Wack eh?

Pulse, House of Fears, The Breed, Days of Darknes, Days of Darkness, Halloween 2 (2009), Prophecy 2, Piranha 3D, Burnt Offerings, Vanishing on 7th St, Source Code, Iron Doors, The Innocents

 July 7, 2011

Pulse (Unrated 2006)

I hate to admit this, but I've seen this already. I hoped the unrated tag would change something, make it better, grosser, more, um.. better. No such luck. Still has Veronica Mars wandering around with the guy from Vampire Diaries. Nope, no good. The world still gets over taken by a computer virus that sucks all the happy out of people. The exact way I felt after watching this. Sad Panda.

July 8, 2011

House of Fears (2007)

I was expecting this to suck BALLZ. Really. It was on Netflix and looked absolutely terrible. I was pleasantly surprised that this was a few notches above the fare I have come to expect from that combination. The acting was pretty decent and the story was nice and tight. The sets looked great! It was set in a Haunted House so if there was an element of cheese, it really worked with the story. I have nothing really negative to say about this. Good on ya HoF!

July 9, 2011

The Breed (2001)

Someone saw the Matrix and wanted to make a Vamp movie that looked like it. FAIL. Oh man, where do I start? Bai Ling and her very strange costumes? The confused story? The way Adrian Paul leapt through the air blasting his guns a la John Woo? The terrible dialogue? Ugh. Hot mess doesn't begin to cover this turd. I do have to say Chris and I had a good time MST3K-ing our way through it. But of course YMMV. 

July 11, 2011

Days of Darkness (2007)

We totally thought this was a zombie movie. Netflix said it was! So we waited, and waited and waited. But sadly the story of a Quebecois man's mid-life crisis never materialised into anything other than a boring sex obsessed loser's fantasies. We seriously had no idea what the fuck was going on, and fully expected a zombie invasion/outbreak until maybe 3/4 of the way through. :( So it turned out to be a horror movie of a different kind. A sad tale of how not to live your life and suck as a person. Viewers be warned!

July 12, 2011

Halloween 2 (2009)

I must have some sort of self flagellation thing going on this week. I've watched this before too, but again thought maybe I was too harsh when I first saw it. No. No I was not. I reckon Mrs Zombie needs work badly for her husband to cast her in EVERY SINGLE THING HE DOES EVEN AFTER HE KILLED HER OFF IN THE FIRST ONE. sigh. The whole scary thing about MM is that he existed in OUR WORLD. An anomaly if you will. By dragging the stupid-ness of the Sheri Zombie sub-plot into this, it ruins the construct. Ugh. What a waste of money, time and, effort. Like fuck off with your white horse bullshit. 

July 13, 2011

Prophecy 2 (1998)

Did you know this is the only time Mr Walken has reprised a role? Well it is. And it totally stands up as a sequel and a stand alone movie. Good story, fun acting (especially Brittany Murphy as a suicide who gets reprieved for her computer skills) and nice visuals. I'd watch it again. 

July 14, 2011

Piranha 3D (2010)

Even better not in 3D. I could actually see parts that were too dark to see in the theatre. Holy fucking bloody gross fun. Apparently Aja had tanker trucks of blood out there. FUCK YEAH! FUN FUN FUN. 

July 15, 2011

Burnt Offerings (1976)

I don't understand the title of this movie. But that in now way stopped me from loving it. Oliver Reed in particular as an over wrought Father who is losing control of everything. I kinda love him. Karen Black is fucking odd looking, and works it to her best ability. I love Bette Davis and (hold the goddamn phone) the kid in this movie was REALLY GOOD. Creepy as hell and super duper summer fun!! 

July 16, 2011

Vanishing on 7th St (2010)

I can say with absolute certainty that Hayden Christensen is a better actor than Robert Pattinson. If only for this role. That is totally damning someone with faint praise yes? They both are JUST THE WORST. THE WORST. The movie itself was pretty enjoyable. The shadows were tres' creepy and the idea that everyone just disappears is icky. Chris could even tolerate John Leguizamo in it. I think the whole was greater than the parts. I like apocalyptic flicks so this was a no-brainer for me. Surprisingly good.

July 17, 2011

Source Code (2011)

Sci-fi counts ya'll. It does. So we figured out the BIG TWIST about 15 minutes in. Was it supposed to be a twist at all? Eh, this wasn't nearly as good as Groundhog Day. And I had to watch so much Jake G that I nearly barfed. I only like him in Donnie Darko. Hm. I was kinda bored by this, but Chris seemed to like it. But he also is the one who tried to make me watch the last Harry Potter (I wrote POOTER at first. Haw haw) knowing we shut the previous one off due to boring. We did the same to that one too. OMG digress much? 

July 18, 2011

Iron Doors (2010)

Holy shit on a shingle this was dull. I was hoping for a Cube/Saw hybrid. NO. NO GOOD MOVIE FOR YOU. All this pointless blah blah with a more pointless and unbelievable sex scene followed by the worst ending in recent memory. Way worse than that run on sentence I just hammered out. DO NOT WATCH. 

July 19, 2011

The Innocents (1961)

Hurray for Gothic horror! Ghosts, craziness and, charming children are the ingredients for a lovely afternoon of fun. Is it real? Do I care? This is delightful old school creeps with no gore, no real effects at all. Just atmosphere and good tight story. A well deserved break from some of the garbage I've been subjecting myself to lately.

Spawn, Suckerpunch, Cabin Fever, Insidious, Idle Hands, Slumber Party Massacre 1, 2 & 3, The Coffin, Wake Wood, Final Destination 2 & 3

 June 23, 2011 

Spawn (1997)

Yawn. I seriously fell asleep watching this. Twice. Still one if the best soundtracks ever. The movie blows goats. Gleefully it seems.

June 25, 2011

Suckerpunch (2011)

Totally a horror movie. For any woman ever. Son, I am disappoint. I knew from the reviews this was gonna be a misogynistic mess but was surprised by how awful it was. The smaller the costume the crazier a bitch is? This was filthy and not in a good way. Mr Snyder, I'm gonna pretend this didn't happen ok? You had your creepy wank rape fantasy period. Let's end it here. :( 

June 27, 2011

Cabin Fever (2003)

Was it really 7 years ago Eli Roth burst (har har) on the scene with this nasty little flick? So creepy, so over-the-top gross. And one of my favourite lines/characters ever in a movie. PAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNCAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEESS!!

Oh Dennis. you know bad blood when you taste it. Go back and re-watch this. Total fun.

June 28, 2011

Insidious (2011)

Second viewing. Totally holds up as one of the creepiest movies I have seen in a damn long time. Great tension!

June 29, 2011

Idle Hands (1997)

One of my top 10 horror movies of all time. Seriously under-rated and over-looked. It has knitting in it, and marijuana saves the day! Cheese abounds in this, but if you scratch the surface, it's a fucking shit show of scary. I love this little flick with my whole black heart. I'm Leatherface!!

June 30, July 1/2, 2011

Slumber Party Massacre 1, 2/3 (1982/1987/1990)

How have I not seen any of these?

1 is a pretty straight up slasher, with lots of early 80's boobs and a pretty weak story. The really strange thing about all of these is the killers. In 1, you never really know why he's killing (aside from an article in a newspaper mentioning a psycho on the loose) or how he picks these girls. Random, but you know standard. 

2 on the other hand, is clearly BAT SHIT INSANE. I have no idea what the fuck was going on at the best of times. But it did evolve into a bizarre musical with the killer (who may or may not have been dreamed up by our final girl) singing whole songs with his guitar drill. Yes. I said guitar drill. Oh the 80's! 

3, well I've never seen a bunch of people who deserved to die more. Standing and screaming and ugggggh. It couldn't be over fast enough. And the killer seemed like he was written in at the last minute as they couldn't figure out how to incorporate one. So lets make a guy whose Uncle was a suicidal cop who may or may not have touched him inappropriately. I think. I'm still not clear.

The other thing all 3 had in common is they were all directed by Women. I wish I could say they were well directed, but... sigh.

July 3, 2011

The Coffin (2008)

Based on a true Thai Ritual this boasts. Well after watching this, I reckon no one wants to take part in this ritual anymore. It doesn't seem to work out like you planned. It's a Monkey's Paw kind of story in what you wish for comes true with TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES! Also, it was shot with a blue filter to make it look spooky or something. It's disjointed and poorly told. Don't watch this. Go read a book. Any book.

July 4, 2011

Wake Wood (2011)

Now talking about things going terribly wrong.. what could possibly be bad about trying to resurrect your daughter from the dead? If you play by the rules, nothing I suppose. But wouldn't that be a boring movie? Good thing people in these are never playing by the rules. This was a fun Irish movie, with some creepy bits and good atmosphere. I'd say it's a watcher.

July 5/6, 2011

Final Destination 2/3 (2003/2006)

I admit it. I have a real soft spot for these movies. The Rube Goldberg machinations alone make them worth watching for me. They maintain a solid mythos and are plain ol' entertaining. You like 'em or you don't. I do. Both fun to watch my biggest beef was with all the turtlenecks worn in 2. At least that what my notes said. So yeah. I'm kinda excited to see the next one come out.