Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell, Spontaneous Combustion, The Thing (2011), Trick 'R Treat, Mimic, Night of the Demon, The Legend of Hell House, The House of Usher, The Old Dark House, Deadline, Tales from the Darkside, Alien Resurrection, Prince of Darkness, Paranormal Activity 3, Cry of the Werewolf, Ghost Ship, Chrstine, The Haunting (1999), The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Oct 14

Frankenstein and The Monster from Hell (1974)

Mr Cushing as the mad scientist again. This is pretty weak stuff as far as it goes. Not a terrible afternoons watch but pretty bloodless. 

Oct 14

Spontaneous Combustion (1990)

OMG how have I not seen this? Chris and I were almost rolling on the floor with the hilarity of it all. Brad Dourif (who I LOVE!) is amazingly cheesy as the result of NUCLEAR EXPERIMENTATION. He sets EVERYTHING ON FIRE!! Fire shooting out of his elbow! Heads on fire. Tobe Hooper (or is it POOPER?) shits this little little gem out. The award for the most neon used in one set goes to ...this movie. Serious fun.

Oct 16 

The Thing (2011)

Pretty forgettable. Neatly dovetails the end of this into the original, but has no soul in it at all. Some really nice shots, but that's it. :/

Oct 17

Trick R Treat (2006)

I really love this movie with my jack o'lantern of a heart. A glorious love letter to the best day of the year. I watched this time with commentary and it was well worth it. Some good insights and fun stuff. Almost canon for me at this point. 

Oct 18

Mimic (1997)

What's that shit up there? Better than I remembered. 

Oct 18

Night of the Demon (1957)

I wanted to punch the lead actor right in his smug fucker nose for most of this movie. But don't think that means I didn't like it. I really enjoy this movie. I rooted for Satan again! 

Oct 19

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

I'd never seen this movie but had read the book a few months ago. I couldn't figure out why I knew what was gonna happen. Dumbass I has it. Anyways, this was pretty faithful to the source material, so it was pretty boring. There was some hot ladies in it tho. Not much else. 

Oct 19

The House of Usher (1960)

Vincent Price as a slightly incest-y brother in this Poe tale. Roger Corman directed. I prefer Mr Price not bleach blonde.

Oct 19

The Old Dark House (1932)

Fantastic set piece featuring Karloff as the crazy drunk servant. There is a little bit of the screwball comedies in this, but has enough atmosphere for 2 movies! Loved it. 

Oct 20

Deadline (2009)

This was an incoherent piece of shit. I feel sorry for Ms Brittany Murphy that this was her final work. She also looked terrible in it. And the really bad weave didn't help. Bad bad bad. 

Oct 21

Tales from the Darkside (1990)

This really held up! Debbie Harry is foxy as all get out in the wrap around story. They were all satisfying stories, and really well paced. What can I say? I miss that Christian Slater. 

Oct 21

Alien Resurrection (1997)

You can see the seeds of Firefly in this Joss Whedon penned adder to the collection. Easily the weakest of them, but still fun to watch. Ron Perlman is always great. Fun fact: I'm wearing nail polish that looks just like Ripley's nails in this! 

Oct 22

Prince of Darkness (1987)

I had such a thing for Jameson Parker back in the day. Yeah so this is classic Carpenter. Part of his Apocalypse Trilogy. I think it's my least favourite of the three  but still LOVE IT. Canon.

Oct 23

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

I read this has the biggest opening weekend of any horror movie EVER. And I forked my $$ over too. OMG THIS WAS FREAKY. But I have a real lady boner for haunted house/demon/ghost stories. This is the strongest of the three movies, and the first one I went to see in a theatre. It would have been awesome if there were more people in it, but I sure enjoyed it. Chris got all freaked out too. Can't ask for more than that right?? GHOST!

Oct 2

Cry Of The Werewolf (1944)

Not much werewolf in this. :(((

Oct 25

Ghost Ship (2002)

Aside from some of the vaguely shitty effects this movie is the balls. It stands as one of the best opening set-ups EVER. Truly fucked up stuff that. I sure enjoy the shit outta this flick.

Oct 26

Christine (1983)

My notes say meh. Yup. Meh. 

Oct 26 

The Haunting (1999)

Poor Owen Wilson. His head gets smushed right off. RIGHT OFF. Wanna talk about shitty effects? Here's a good place to start. This is when cgi was just finding it's feet and you can see the awful-ness of it all over this. Also: Lili Taylor bores the shit out of me in this. Fun fact: 2 characters just disappear in this!

Oct 27

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

More a courtroom drama than true horror flick, but has some creepy, creepy moments. I like this.

Frankenstein (1931), Ghost Rider, The Wolfman (1941), The Evil of Frankenstein, House of 1000 Corpses, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Poltergeist

Oct 6

Frankenstein (1931)

I've never seen this. Wow. I see where the genesis of all the modern movies come from as I watch these classics. Karloff was amazing and tragic as the poor monster. Also he was far more nimble than the lumbering monster we all think of. The sets and matte paintings are worth watching for too.. a lost art almost. 

Oct 7

Ghost Rider (2007)

Just shut up. Chris and I both really enjoy this cheese fest. It is funny (intentionally? I have no idea) and goofy and I LOVE YOU NIC CAGE. There I said it. Happy now?

Oct 8

The Wolfman (1941)

Lon Chaney broke my heart in this. He really did. His sweetness shone through and made the story even sadder. I can see how this inspired Benecio Del Toro to become an actor. I just wish he hadn't re-made this nearly perfect movie as a "tribute". 

Oct 10

The Evil Of Frankenstein (1967)

Peter Cushing played the (not very) mad doctor in this re-telling. He is too bloodless to be passionate to be believable but dude.. the monster was pretty rad. Even if he was kind of a pussy monster. I mean he ate a couple of goats and could be hypnotised. It was weaksauce. Sad drippy weaksauce. With a side order of goat. :(((

Oct 11

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

AAAAAAAAAH! I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!!! FISHBOY!! Otis is one of my favourite characters ever. This whole hot mess turns my crank and is so fucking creepy/crawly/gross/nasty/awesome. I love Dr Satan, and Mother Firefly and you know, if this had Brad Dourif in it, it would have exploded into a movie-gasm I would have to have died and gone to hell for. So basically it was pretty good. Oh and we listened to Rob Zombie's commentary which was really good. Informative and kinda funny. 

Oct 12

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

This is a fitting movie to watch after Ho1kC as Zombie seemed to really take most of his inspiration from it. It is a batshit masterpiece. Dennis Hopper (RIP man) was nutso to the extreme in a hymn singing, chainsaw swinging way. Again Mr Bill Moseley is a fucking genius as Chop-Top. I love these gonzo wackadoo flicks. And make sure you watch the very end carefully. Is that Grandma rising up? You judge..

Oct 13

Poltergeist (1982)

A classic. How this was rated PG is beyond me. Canon.

Hyenas, Children of the Corn 4,5,6, 7, Kiss of the Vampire/Immortally Yours

May 24, 2011
Hyneas (2011 really??)

Oh Costas, you sure get around don't you? You can really belt out some convincing praying/crying/acting right? Or.. well.. yeah. This creature feature was creature light and Disney Lion King Hyena heavy. I almost expected Whoopi to start singing in those scenes! But no. I did however, get funny music whenever any of the Mexican dudes were on screen. Is that a fair trade off? Still not sure. Holy shit how does this crap get made? And why do I keep watching it?



May 25/26/27, 2011
Children of the Corn 4/5/6/7 ((1996/1998/1999/2001)

These have blurred into one huge shitty movie about some corn or something. I'm too shell shocked to remember any more. I do recall they got worse as they went along with 4 being *almost* watchable with Naomi Watts in it. As for the rest, I dunno. I don't like corn much anyways. Good thing. Yuck.

May 29, 2011

Kiss of the Vampire/Immortally Yours (2006/2009). yeah. I don't know what that means either.

HOLY SHIT. I thought Goth was bad? Well it was, but this is so. much. worse. In so many ways. I am a a loss at where to even start. The acting? One of our favourites, Costas Mandylor is in this, AND HE IS NOT TOP BILLED. Among NOBODIES. I'm not sure what means as he was making the Saw movies at the time. Hmm. Anyhoo, the acting. The vampires, oh the vampires. They roar like lions, shake their heads while "feeding" every 15 seconds and mince (seriously. mince.) with the shoulder shaking goodness of a silent film star from the 20's. They also read their lines like a bad SNL sketch, and wear matching capes!! They also all sleep in the garage with matching coffins. Not the lovely big mansion they pout in. Huh? What? Yeah. The effects amount to nothing more than ketchup and sight gags you did with your friends when you were 8. Holding a stick to your chest and gargling. The lead Vampire Hunter dude's death scene alone gave Paul Reubens in the BtVS movie a run for his money. The difference? Peewee played his for laughs. :( They try to look big budget by using an RC helicopter as a police chopper. RC FUCKING HELICOPTER? One of the most telling things, is the lead actress in this has scrubbed her name off of it in an acting capacity. Poor Kat Hawks (who was Katherine Hawkes when she made this) this POS made her change her name spelling and get plastic surgery. Although that seems a good choice in hindsight. There is so much badness here it's hard to make a coherent review of it all. The extras in the glamorous club scene? The cops that keep looking at the camera? The fucking FLOATING HEADS IN SPACE?? I would rather watch no, wait, READ Twilight again 1000 times than watch this once more.

Tales From the Crypt: Ritual, Hellraiser: Bloodline, Werewolf (MST3K), Black Death, Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest, Harvesting Horror: Children of the Corn

May 18, 2011

Tales from the Crypt: Ritual (2002)

I actually really enjoyed this. I KNOW RIGHT??? But I have a soft spot for Voodoo movies and this was really fun. Tim Curry is in it along with Jennifer Grey and the incomparable Craig Sheffer! Silly good times and even though my copy was kind of shitty, it made me want to be somewhere tropical. Without Voodoo spiders or zombies.

May 19, 2011

Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)

PINHEAD IN SPACE! I actually hear that in my head said like PIGS IN SPACE from the Muppet Show. File that under shit you didn't need to know. Anyways, yeah. Pinhead in space. And in the past. I reckon this was scratching close to the bottom of the barrel at this point in the Hellraiser films yes? The origin of the box. Ooooooh. The cool thing? The dude from Step Brothers and Parks and Rec is in it. Hmm. Who knew? This killed an afternoon. Oh yeah, and there is an awful kid in it. With a stupid bowl cut. And that is all I got about this one. AVOID.

May 20, 2011

Werewolf/MST3K (1996)

Gah. I had ONE success with the bots. One. I totally thought they wold be able to make this rancid piece of shit smell like cupcakes but BZZZZZZZT. WRONG. The premise of this turd is WEREWOLVES IN NEW MEXICO. But it forgets that weak sauce for some of the worst acting I have ever seen. Everyone was Eastern European trying to do these Yankee accents, well except for Martin Sheen's brother. Who was eerily like him. It was kinda creepy. So um.. yeah. Terrible acting, terrible plot and no love/funny from Mike and the bots. SAD FAIL.

May 21, 2011

Black Death (2011)

Bloody depressing. I liked the Nic Cage one better. 

May 22, 2011

Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest (1995)

He Who Walks Behind The Rows in the big city! Well goooolllleeee.. OMG. This was a fucking hilarious shit fest from beginning to end. From the terrible mid 90's clothes to the splatter-riffic ending that had puppets, stop motion and I shit you not, dolls! It was fantastically, astonishingly convivial to behold. Really damn funny. Go watch it. 

May 23, 2011

Harvesting Horror: Children of the Corn (2004)

Nice small documentary (was an extra on the bonus edition of the first COTC) about making the first movie. The director and the 2 main child (kinda) actors tell about making the film. Some good insights into doing some effects on a small budget. A good watch.

Hobo With A Shotgun, Re-Aninmator, Rubber, Dead Calm, The Howling 3: The Marsupials, Blood Feast 2: All You Can Eat, Altered States, The Cave, Insidious, Bride of the Re-Animator, Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Shaun of the Dead, The Fly

Mar 25, 2011

Hobo With a Shotgun 2011

How could you not love a movie like this? Ultra violent, exploitative, filthy, nasty and Rutger Hauer? What is not to love? This was a grimy world I really enjoyed visiting, but am so damn glad I don't live there. This was a super fun grindhouse movie that makes me have a modicum of faith that the movie industry isn't completely broken. Fantastic and fun but not for the faint of heart or apparently the people who bought tickets for it and were too dumb to figure it out and left 20 minutes in. Bravo Hobo!

Mar 26, 2011

Re-Animator (1985)

Based on a story by HP Lovecraft? I don't care if this is based on a Harlequin Romance novel, as long as Stuart Gordon and Jeffrey Combs keep making movies together, I'll keep watching them. Gross and funny don't get much better than this. Everyone needs to watch this.

Mar 26, 2011

Rubber (2010)

I had no idea what this was about. Chris put it on and from the first 5 minutes we were transfixed. An unexpected little movie of big ideas. A killer tire? Really? But it works, it really does. Great performances and a truly unexpected story pair for a unique little movie that will surprise even the most jaded of viewers. Nifty and funny!

Mar 27, 2011

Dead Calm (1989)

My notes say "menacing!" Please also note Nicole Kidman looks completely different than she does now. Maybe she still had puppy fat? Also, Billy Zane had hair and Sam Neill DOESN'T AGE. Enjoyed it.

Mar 28, 2011

The Howling 3: The Marsupials

Holy shit was this a terrible flick. More bug eyed, brow waggling acting than you can shake a stick at! Awful effects, too much fish eye lens and a plot that made no sense what so ever. Sometimes all that shit comes together to make a movie weirdly work, this isn't one of them. Simply bad.

Mar 29, 2011

Blood Feast 2: All You Can Eat

Now this is one of those movies that works. Cheesy effects and buckets of entrails! Bad acting and lots of boobs, it was super fun to watch. Really really fun. H G Lewis really was a helluva movie maker. Don't eat anything with red sauce and watch this, you've been warned. Bonus! John Waters as a naughty priest!

Mar 30, 2011

Altered States (1980)

Notes: Hippie freakout. Allegory of how man isn't complete until he knows love. Doesn't hold up well.
Dudes liked be naked back then.

Mar 31, 2011

The Cave (2005)

Despite having a terrible connection to Netflix that resulted in this looking like I watched it through the bottom of a dirty glass, I liked it more than I remembered. My strange slight crush on Cole Hauser may or may not have something to do with it. But the story was good, it looked good (what I could see) and it was a pleasant afternoon diversion.

Apr 1, 2011

Insidious (2011)

No joke here. This is the real thing. Creepy, dark, and spooky. James Wan delivers another winner. Truly a scary little movie with no gore, this would be a great introduction for a kid who liked the genre. You know, if you wanted to fuck him up real good. Like 'Salem's Lot did for my generation. Man, I loved this movie. It unsettled Both Chris and I. Yay!

Apr 2, 2011

Bride of Re-Animator (1990)

Did you see up there where I talked about the first Re-Animator? Yeah, same again. In fact I found the story tighter and a little more coherent. Highly recommended.

Apr 3, 2011

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

I went and saw this with my friend who is terrified of these kinds of movies. It is SO MUCH FUN to go with someone like that. She screamed, watched through her fingers and was generally just awesome to watch along with this movie. Upon second viewing (at 7 am no less!) she really made it better than it was. It wasn't terrible, but I really have no beef with re-makes in general. It was meh, but I am damning it with faint praise indeed. :/

Apr 3, 2011

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

When Chris and I went to see this in the theatre, he had no idea it was British. The second time we watched we put on the subs for my accent challenged husband. I'm proud to say after this 11th viewing, he doesn't need subs anymore. Actually I jest, he is really good with accents now. Finally.

Who the hell hasn't seen this yet? If you haven't why are reading this blog? sheesh.

Apr 4, 2011

The Fly (1986)

Yuck. I totally forgot how gross this movie was. Jeff Goldblum is completely entrancing as BrundleFly. Geena Davis was a little more mouth agape than I remembered, but this is a Cronenberg masterpiece. Nasty medicine cabinet for snoopers.

Blessed, Swamp Thing (1982), Drive Angry, The Bad Seed, Sleepwalkers, The Possession Of David O'Reilly, The Disappeared, The Astronaut's Wife

So you can totally tell I finally broke down and got the Netflix streaming service eh? HOLY SHIT BAD MOVIES! Also I see where Heather Graham's career went to die

Feb 25, 2011

Blessed (2004)

 So this was a pretty standard pregnant with the devil's spawn. But boring. And no one cared. Especially me.

Feb 26, 2011

Swamp Thing (1982)

I'm not sure what is more shocking, that I have never seen this or how much Chris and I enjoyed MST3K-ing it. It was a great dude in a rubber suit flick, and Adrienne Barbeau looked pretty good back in the day. Also I LOVE Ray Wise. That was pretty awesome. But it was a little bit lame story wise. Sorry Wes Craven, you are no John Carpenter. Silly fun but I won't watch it again.

Feb 27, 2011

Drive Angry (2011)
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. This was AWESOME with a capital FUCK YOU. Overblown, overacted, overdriven. ALL GOOD SHIT YA'LL. I really really enjoyed this hell out of this. Super fun. SUPER. Now shut up haters.

Feb 28, 2011
The Bad Seed (1956)
Ye Gods and little fishes I love killer kids. I love Rhoda and her smarmy-ness. This is a fantastic example overwrought melodrama and is so much fun to watch. Even if they wussed out on the original ending, it is a great example of the period. Go watch it now. You're welcome.

Mar 1, 2011
Sleepwalkers (1992)
Wow. The 90's had some terrible clothes huh? And lipstick? Why did we wear such gross lipstick? Boy, Madchen Amick is sure lovely! And when I see Alice Krige all I can see is the crazy ass bitch from Silent Hill. This is cheesy good fun. Incest-y, cat hating shape shifters are probably really bad neighbours. Too many damn cats pissing in the flower beds. Pretty fun flick to watch.

Mar 2, 2011
The Possession of David O'Reilly (2008)
My notes are comprised of this: Oh god why am I still watching this? Piece of shit. Confusing. Muddled. UGH. JUST LEAVE. So yeah... pretty much that.

Mar 2, 2011
The Disappeared (2008)
This on the other hand was really pretty good. Great spooky atmosphere, tight story and nicely restrained performances. Little UK gem this one. Recommended.

Mar 2, 2011
The Astronauts Wife (1999)
And to round out the festival of WTF is this little cheestacular offering. Johnny Depp should neither have short blond hair or a southern accent. And isn't this almost the exact same plot as Devil's Advocate that she was in too? Yeah, a funny enough evening killer. I don't reckon they intended it that way but at this point, take what you can get eh?


Also quite apparent, my husband is away for the next few days. Expect many movies to be watched. Oh yeah..