The Gorgon, Monkey Shines, Shelter, Death Becomes Her, Forget Me Not, House (Hasu), Children Of The Corn: Genesis, Deep Red, Bird With The Crystal Plumage, 30 Days of Night

I have got to admit this, I have hit the wall when it comes to horror movies. I can't find any new ones that spark my interest. If I see one more shallow twat getting stalked by a murderous killer, I may turn into one (either one frankly)  myself. I think this last month will be tough to get through and will require a Herculean strength of will. Thankfully I hate Christmas more, and that usually fuels a return to the love of all things evil. Hail Satin! Or however that goes...

Nov 14

The Gorgon (1964)

Poor Megaera, her looks leave you cold. And stoned. Mr Lee arrives to save the day. Kinda. 

Nov 15

Monkey Shines (1988)

I had no idea that George Romero wrote and directed this. I think it may actually rise above Martin as my favourite film of his. Terrific story, well acted and some nice monkey action make for a fun flick. That little monkey Ella, can come and dust my house anytime. 

Nov 16

Shelter (2010)

I had never heard of this movie before I saw it on one of the movie channels. It was tagged as a horror film so I DVR'ed it and am I ever glad I did!! The always awesome Julianne Moore (who I have a terrific girl crush on) is spot on form as a forensic psychiatrist who gets involved with a case that turns out to question and shatter her deep religious beliefs. I really liked the performance by Jonathan Rhys Myers too. And, it has Hill People in it! I truly enjoyed this movie, will definitely re-watch this!

Nov 17

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Black humour and Isabella Rosellini's side boob. Yup. Pretty fun. 

Nov 18

Forget Me Not (2009)

For all the bitching I've done about new movies sucking balls, this one was pretty fun too. For a tired genre, this is pretty damn original. It has some good twists and turns and looked great too. I genuinely enjoyed this low-budget outing. 

Nov 20

House/Hasu (1975)

I ordered the blu-ray Criterion edition of this and as soon as it got to us we ripped it open and popped it in. OMG STILL BATSHIT CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! This is a stand out movie on all levels. Classic. 

Nov 21

Children Of The Corn: Genesis (2011)

Well, this wasn't as terrible as most of the sequels. Billy Drago is in it. He looks like a dessicated corpse and that was kinda scary. So yeah.. umm.. I barely remember this movie at all. :/

Nov 22

Deep Red (1975)

1975 was a good year for movies. Classic Argento.I love Daria Nicolodi in this movie so much.

Nov 23

Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970)

Classic Giallo. Beautifully shot. Wonderful.

Nov 27

30 Days of Night (2007)

This is one of my top 10 horror movies I think. Chris doesn't get it and I'm not sure I do entirely either. I think the vampires themselves have an enormous amount to do with it. There ain't a sparkle in the whole bunch of them. In fact they darkle (look it up). Danny Houston is magnificent as Marlow. I (only after watching this yesterday for the like 10th time) finally understood who he was. The actor I mean. I love you Mr Houston. I really do. This whole movie really does my head in. The cold, the isolation, the whisper quietness.. it all works as a wonderfully terrifying flick for me. <3 <3 <3

Spawn, Suckerpunch, Cabin Fever, Insidious, Idle Hands, Slumber Party Massacre 1, 2 & 3, The Coffin, Wake Wood, Final Destination 2 & 3

 June 23, 2011 

Spawn (1997)

Yawn. I seriously fell asleep watching this. Twice. Still one if the best soundtracks ever. The movie blows goats. Gleefully it seems.

June 25, 2011

Suckerpunch (2011)

Totally a horror movie. For any woman ever. Son, I am disappoint. I knew from the reviews this was gonna be a misogynistic mess but was surprised by how awful it was. The smaller the costume the crazier a bitch is? This was filthy and not in a good way. Mr Snyder, I'm gonna pretend this didn't happen ok? You had your creepy wank rape fantasy period. Let's end it here. :( 

June 27, 2011

Cabin Fever (2003)

Was it really 7 years ago Eli Roth burst (har har) on the scene with this nasty little flick? So creepy, so over-the-top gross. And one of my favourite lines/characters ever in a movie. PAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNCAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEESS!!

Oh Dennis. you know bad blood when you taste it. Go back and re-watch this. Total fun.

June 28, 2011

Insidious (2011)

Second viewing. Totally holds up as one of the creepiest movies I have seen in a damn long time. Great tension!

June 29, 2011

Idle Hands (1997)

One of my top 10 horror movies of all time. Seriously under-rated and over-looked. It has knitting in it, and marijuana saves the day! Cheese abounds in this, but if you scratch the surface, it's a fucking shit show of scary. I love this little flick with my whole black heart. I'm Leatherface!!

June 30, July 1/2, 2011

Slumber Party Massacre 1, 2/3 (1982/1987/1990)

How have I not seen any of these?

1 is a pretty straight up slasher, with lots of early 80's boobs and a pretty weak story. The really strange thing about all of these is the killers. In 1, you never really know why he's killing (aside from an article in a newspaper mentioning a psycho on the loose) or how he picks these girls. Random, but you know standard. 

2 on the other hand, is clearly BAT SHIT INSANE. I have no idea what the fuck was going on at the best of times. But it did evolve into a bizarre musical with the killer (who may or may not have been dreamed up by our final girl) singing whole songs with his guitar drill. Yes. I said guitar drill. Oh the 80's! 

3, well I've never seen a bunch of people who deserved to die more. Standing and screaming and ugggggh. It couldn't be over fast enough. And the killer seemed like he was written in at the last minute as they couldn't figure out how to incorporate one. So lets make a guy whose Uncle was a suicidal cop who may or may not have touched him inappropriately. I think. I'm still not clear.

The other thing all 3 had in common is they were all directed by Women. I wish I could say they were well directed, but... sigh.

July 3, 2011

The Coffin (2008)

Based on a true Thai Ritual this boasts. Well after watching this, I reckon no one wants to take part in this ritual anymore. It doesn't seem to work out like you planned. It's a Monkey's Paw kind of story in what you wish for comes true with TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES! Also, it was shot with a blue filter to make it look spooky or something. It's disjointed and poorly told. Don't watch this. Go read a book. Any book.

July 4, 2011

Wake Wood (2011)

Now talking about things going terribly wrong.. what could possibly be bad about trying to resurrect your daughter from the dead? If you play by the rules, nothing I suppose. But wouldn't that be a boring movie? Good thing people in these are never playing by the rules. This was a fun Irish movie, with some creepy bits and good atmosphere. I'd say it's a watcher.

July 5/6, 2011

Final Destination 2/3 (2003/2006)

I admit it. I have a real soft spot for these movies. The Rube Goldberg machinations alone make them worth watching for me. They maintain a solid mythos and are plain ol' entertaining. You like 'em or you don't. I do. Both fun to watch my biggest beef was with all the turtlenecks worn in 2. At least that what my notes said. So yeah. I'm kinda excited to see the next one come out.

Blessed, Swamp Thing (1982), Drive Angry, The Bad Seed, Sleepwalkers, The Possession Of David O'Reilly, The Disappeared, The Astronaut's Wife

So you can totally tell I finally broke down and got the Netflix streaming service eh? HOLY SHIT BAD MOVIES! Also I see where Heather Graham's career went to die

Feb 25, 2011

Blessed (2004)

 So this was a pretty standard pregnant with the devil's spawn. But boring. And no one cared. Especially me.

Feb 26, 2011

Swamp Thing (1982)

I'm not sure what is more shocking, that I have never seen this or how much Chris and I enjoyed MST3K-ing it. It was a great dude in a rubber suit flick, and Adrienne Barbeau looked pretty good back in the day. Also I LOVE Ray Wise. That was pretty awesome. But it was a little bit lame story wise. Sorry Wes Craven, you are no John Carpenter. Silly fun but I won't watch it again.

Feb 27, 2011

Drive Angry (2011)
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. This was AWESOME with a capital FUCK YOU. Overblown, overacted, overdriven. ALL GOOD SHIT YA'LL. I really really enjoyed this hell out of this. Super fun. SUPER. Now shut up haters.

Feb 28, 2011
The Bad Seed (1956)
Ye Gods and little fishes I love killer kids. I love Rhoda and her smarmy-ness. This is a fantastic example overwrought melodrama and is so much fun to watch. Even if they wussed out on the original ending, it is a great example of the period. Go watch it now. You're welcome.

Mar 1, 2011
Sleepwalkers (1992)
Wow. The 90's had some terrible clothes huh? And lipstick? Why did we wear such gross lipstick? Boy, Madchen Amick is sure lovely! And when I see Alice Krige all I can see is the crazy ass bitch from Silent Hill. This is cheesy good fun. Incest-y, cat hating shape shifters are probably really bad neighbours. Too many damn cats pissing in the flower beds. Pretty fun flick to watch.

Mar 2, 2011
The Possession of David O'Reilly (2008)
My notes are comprised of this: Oh god why am I still watching this? Piece of shit. Confusing. Muddled. UGH. JUST LEAVE. So yeah... pretty much that.

Mar 2, 2011
The Disappeared (2008)
This on the other hand was really pretty good. Great spooky atmosphere, tight story and nicely restrained performances. Little UK gem this one. Recommended.

Mar 2, 2011
The Astronauts Wife (1999)
And to round out the festival of WTF is this little cheestacular offering. Johnny Depp should neither have short blond hair or a southern accent. And isn't this almost the exact same plot as Devil's Advocate that she was in too? Yeah, a funny enough evening killer. I don't reckon they intended it that way but at this point, take what you can get eh?


Also quite apparent, my husband is away for the next few days. Expect many movies to be watched. Oh yeah..