The Gorgon, Monkey Shines, Shelter, Death Becomes Her, Forget Me Not, House (Hasu), Children Of The Corn: Genesis, Deep Red, Bird With The Crystal Plumage, 30 Days of Night

I have got to admit this, I have hit the wall when it comes to horror movies. I can't find any new ones that spark my interest. If I see one more shallow twat getting stalked by a murderous killer, I may turn into one (either one frankly)  myself. I think this last month will be tough to get through and will require a Herculean strength of will. Thankfully I hate Christmas more, and that usually fuels a return to the love of all things evil. Hail Satin! Or however that goes...

Nov 14

The Gorgon (1964)

Poor Megaera, her looks leave you cold. And stoned. Mr Lee arrives to save the day. Kinda. 

Nov 15

Monkey Shines (1988)

I had no idea that George Romero wrote and directed this. I think it may actually rise above Martin as my favourite film of his. Terrific story, well acted and some nice monkey action make for a fun flick. That little monkey Ella, can come and dust my house anytime. 

Nov 16

Shelter (2010)

I had never heard of this movie before I saw it on one of the movie channels. It was tagged as a horror film so I DVR'ed it and am I ever glad I did!! The always awesome Julianne Moore (who I have a terrific girl crush on) is spot on form as a forensic psychiatrist who gets involved with a case that turns out to question and shatter her deep religious beliefs. I really liked the performance by Jonathan Rhys Myers too. And, it has Hill People in it! I truly enjoyed this movie, will definitely re-watch this!

Nov 17

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Black humour and Isabella Rosellini's side boob. Yup. Pretty fun. 

Nov 18

Forget Me Not (2009)

For all the bitching I've done about new movies sucking balls, this one was pretty fun too. For a tired genre, this is pretty damn original. It has some good twists and turns and looked great too. I genuinely enjoyed this low-budget outing. 

Nov 20

House/Hasu (1975)

I ordered the blu-ray Criterion edition of this and as soon as it got to us we ripped it open and popped it in. OMG STILL BATSHIT CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! This is a stand out movie on all levels. Classic. 

Nov 21

Children Of The Corn: Genesis (2011)

Well, this wasn't as terrible as most of the sequels. Billy Drago is in it. He looks like a dessicated corpse and that was kinda scary. So yeah.. umm.. I barely remember this movie at all. :/

Nov 22

Deep Red (1975)

1975 was a good year for movies. Classic Argento.I love Daria Nicolodi in this movie so much.

Nov 23

Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970)

Classic Giallo. Beautifully shot. Wonderful.

Nov 27

30 Days of Night (2007)

This is one of my top 10 horror movies I think. Chris doesn't get it and I'm not sure I do entirely either. I think the vampires themselves have an enormous amount to do with it. There ain't a sparkle in the whole bunch of them. In fact they darkle (look it up). Danny Houston is magnificent as Marlow. I (only after watching this yesterday for the like 10th time) finally understood who he was. The actor I mean. I love you Mr Houston. I really do. This whole movie really does my head in. The cold, the isolation, the whisper quietness.. it all works as a wonderfully terrifying flick for me. <3 <3 <3

Grave Encounters, The Haunted House Project, Fright Night (2011), The Ward, John Carpenter's Body Bags, Fertile Ground, Camp Hell, Blade 2&3, Tucker & Dale vs Evil, Inferno, Brain Dead, Basket Case 1 2 & 3, Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Prophecy 3, Attack The Block, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011), Vault Of Horror

Aug 17, 2011

Grave Encounters (2011)

This is listed with a 92 min running time. I felt like it was at least 2.5 hours. In some other universe I'm STILL watching it. It was a found footage (fake) deal. A spoof on those ghost hunter type shows. It was ok once it got going, but Jesus.. it was LONG.

Aug 18, 2011

The Haunted House Project (2010)

Same movie as the one above but from South Korea. Batting 1000 here. :/

Aug 19, 2011

Fright Night (2011)

OMG. I totally loved this. It was dark and funny and scary and current and OMG I LOVED IT. Colin Farrell is absolutely terrifying in it. It is the best kind of re-make. It updates, entertains and is all just amazing ponies and unicorns. GO SEE THIS. NOW. 

Aug 21, 2011

The Ward (2011)

Release day for this I was all set to make Chris take the day off and go! But do you think they played it here even after that shitty Calgary Movies site that they were? NO. I was MAD. But now, I'M MORE MAD CAUSE IT WAS REALLY GOOD AND I WANT TO SEE IT ALL BIG. Jerks. Anyways, it was awesome to see Carpenter directing again and this is a nice solid little entry. Good acting, tight story. Well done!

Aug 22, 2011

John Carpenter's Body Bags (1993)

What a sweet little love letter to genre fans. Lots of inside jokes, nudges and winks. Totally fun anthology with some cheesy gold performances. Mark Hamill is of note in that category (surprise! not). This was hilariously fun to watch. I want more please!

Aug 23, 2011

Fertile Ground (2010)

I feel like I've seen this movie like a million times. The sadly child free lady getting sucked into a dreamy location and all of a sudden turning up preggers EVEN WHEN SHE SHOULDN'T BE!! Blah blah blah. Boring, trite and worst of all NOT SCARY. This was a dried out dog turd of a movie. Skip it. 

Aug 24, 2011

Camp Hell (2010)

I don't really know what this was about except the Christians in this movie really don't want anyone masturbating. AT ALL. IT IS EVIL. Oh and Journey (the band) is the way to the devil. Not Slayer, JOURNEY. This movie was dumb. 

Aug 25/26, 2011

Blade 2 & 3 (2002/2004)

Holy shit I love these movies. The end.

Aug 28, 2011

Tucker & Dale Vs Evil (again)

Had to show a friend this because everyone should see it.

Aug 29, 2011

Inferno (1980)

Oh Argento! You have such moments of beauty in your movies. The underwater scene takes my breath away in the very best way. The batshit crazy of the cat killing dude getting his just desserts, it's just spectacular. I love this loose sequel to Suspiria, it makes me a little sad to know that the Mother of Tears is the end result, but this, this is gorgeous. Also, my enormous girl crush on Daria Nicolodi? Still there. 

Aug 30, 2011

Brain Dead (1990)

I think this was the first movie to use a bit of mind fuckery that has really become prevalent in today's film making world. I don't wanna spoil it for you so don't read anymore. For you brave souls who are fool enough to keep reading: OMG HE IS TOTALLY THE MENTAL PATIENT THE WHOLE TIME. So yeah.

Aug 31, 2011

Basket Case 1, 2 &3 (1982/90/92)

That was a lot of freaks to watch in one sitting. 

Sept 1, 2011

Tales From The Crypt (1972)

Amicus productions are always fun to watch. This is no different. Based on the EC Comics, this is a fun little anthology of terror! Joan Collins was a lovely young murderess in her day wasn't she? I love these movies. They are fun to watch, and have such delightfully fantastic sets. Retro doesn't even begin to cover it. And evil (almost) never prevails!

Sept 2, 2011

The Prophecy 3, (2000)

I had to finish the series out. Walken is again, great. The rest of the story is a bit uneven, but I never felt like shutting it off. So that is something. Right?

Sept 4, 2011

Attack the Block (2011)

Yet another movie that didn't get released here. How lame is the studio system now or what? It makes me furious that they release such shite on 15 billion screens yet can't spare 1 in a city for something different in case some fuckwit misses a showing of the Smurfs. DIE HOLLYWOOD DIE. Erm in any case, this was absolutely fucking brilliant. Truly funny, gross and does something amazing. Makes you root for someone you are first shown to be an utter turd. That is good film-making my friends. One of the best movies I've seen in recent times, horror or not. 

Sept 5, 2011

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011)

Jesus fucking Christ my husband hated this. He went on and on and on and on about it. He pulled it apart faster than a fat kid with a cinnamon bun (hey! I resemble that remark! mmm... cinnamon). I admit the story was weak and it did have the movie killing Katie Holmes in it, but it worked enough on me to make me lift my feet off the floor. It was gorgeously shot and does have that Del Toro look about it and I love that, but apparently I am alone in this assessment. I think I can still hear Chris bitching about it....

Sept 6, 2011

Vault of Horror (1973)

Another Amicus production. I found this one to be a little less solid than TftC, but still enjoyable. Fun fun fun.

Super, Stakeland, Your Highness, Class of 1984, Don't be Afraid of the Dark, Black Sabbath, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Shrine, Fright Night 2, Quarantine 2: The Terminal, The Silent Scream, The Torture Graden, The Kiss of the Vampire (1962), Final Destination 5, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane, X Men 1&2, Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

Holy shit I let this get away from me again. Rest assured (all 3 of you who care) movies are still being watched, just lazy ass me keeps forgetting to blog about them. Sigh. 

July 29, 2011

Super (2010)

Let's just go with disturbing. It's the only word that sums up how messed up this is. I was thinking it may be a grittier Kickass but it's fucking NOT. Very not what I was expecting from James Gunn. I don't honestly think many people will enjoy this. It was tough to watch. And rapey. :(

July 31, 2011

Stakeland, (2010)

Grim, gritty, great. That's all the notes I have for this. It's really an amazing film. Post-apocalyptic and heartbreaking. LOVED IT.

Aug 1, 2011

Your Highness (2011)

Holy shit gross. Like serious gross. I totally enjoyed this. Hits all the high points of a sword and sorcery flick and the funny stoner comedy. Did I say how gross it was? It really is!!

Aug 2, 2011

Class of 1984 (1981)

Made in T.O. Not really sure why high school kids who run drugs/hookers/and apparently the entire criminal under world bother with actually GOING to HS let alone hassling the music teacher but ok. Roddy McDowell is awesome in this. Ok for a time piece, but not really great. 

Aug 3, 2011

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)

I so remember this when I was small. Scared the freaky shit right out of me and it and Trilogy of Terror provided me with fodder for nightmares that follow me to this day. Well done! It's still spooky to see this, and I know the big budget re-make is out this month. I bet this still wins on the creep factor. Maybe even because of the decor. I mean who hired that guy? 

Aug 4, 2011

Black Sabbath (1963)

A Drop of Water alone is worth watching this. I can still see her face in my dreams. :( Otherwise Boris Karloff is delightful as usual. He's like a spooky Grampa!

Aug 5, 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Amazing. The CG is brilliant and Andy Serkis deserves an Oscar. I had a hard time watching some of this so BINGO. Effective movie. Really really good. Big ass thumbs up.

Aug 7, 2011

The Shrine (2010)

Really weird Polish co-production about a statue that evil's you up good. I was pleasantly surprised by this. 

Aug 8, 2011

Fright Night 2, 1988

How how I not seen this? It was really mediocre after that awesome sauce that was the first one. Charley just isn't that compelling. Oh well. It wasn't terrible but..

Aug 9, 2011

Quarantine 2: The Terminal (2010)

Better than I expected. Low expectations FTW! Some good jump scares and it was gross. Nice afternoon diversion.

Aug 10, 2011

The Silent Scream (1980)

I should have liked this more than I did. But I didn't. It was slow and boring and everyone was ugly. The End.

Aug 11, 2011

The Torture Garden (1967)

Oh how I loved this! Peter Cushing is terrific in it. The stories are fun and LOVE the wrap around. A super excellent horror anthology. Watched this for free on the new Crackle service. They have a decent selection and did I mention FREE?? You go Crackle!

Aug 12, 2011

The Kiss Of The Vampire (1962)

One of Hammer's offerings. Worth it for the sets alone. Entertaining but not as solid as some of their other films. Still, better than most throw away horror flicks nowadays. 

Aug 13, 2011

Final Destination 5 (2011)

I'm over 3D. For reals. Please stop FORCING me to see stuff in it. Ok having said that, this was a nifty little trick of a flick. Fits in with the rest of the universe and is a decent summer popcorn muncher. It touched on two particular neuroses for Chris and I so was fantastically effective. Good fun. 

Aug 13, 2011

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

HOLY SHIT ON A SHINGLE. I really loved this. It is a shame it's been buried in a vault for no one to enjoy as it was super fun to watch. Gory, funny, unexpected. Really outstanding. Catch it if you can. If you know what I mean. 

Aug 14/15, 2011

X Men 1/2, (2000/2003)

Chris wanted to re-watch these. They were fun. 

Aug 16, 2011

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009)

Fairly mindless fun. It's always nice to see Danielle Harris (who does a bang up job in Stakeland BTW) and Bill Moseley working. The plot? Well.. when the lead monster ghost thing has huge fake boobs and is supposed to have been a poor demented thing living in an asylum all her life, you know what you're getting yourself into. Fine for what it was.

Mortuary, Scream 4, Captain America, The Hitcher (2007), Dylan Dog Dead Of Night, Cry Wolf, Society, Brain Damage, Satanic Rites of Dracula

 

July 20, 2011

Mortuary (2005)

Tobe Hooper directed this. I've seen this before but I for the life of me couldn't remember most of it. I do like that Tasha Yar from ST:NG was the Mom. Also; unhappy endings make me happy. I LOVED the crazy acid flashback Aunty. She was awesome. The movie was eh.. forgettable I suppose. Which is why I forgot I saw it in the first place. Durrr. 

July 21, 2011

Scream 4 (2011)

I coloured my shoes black while I watched (loose term used here) this. It was so seriously bland that the sharpie running out was providing me with more tension than the movie. Happily I got my shoes all done and they look amazing. The movie? What movie? Oh yeah. It was on. That is as good as it got. :/

July 22, 2011

Captain American (2011)

It fulfilled this quotient as fantasy. The only woman in the whole movie had gorgeous lipstick. It was pretty good as a popcorn flick. Sure, take the kids. I was sad the Red Skull wasn't juicier, but Hugo Weaving is always fun to watch. And Cap had some totally ripped abs. Also, the CGI making Cap look like a 100lb weakling was AMAZEBALLS. Good job!

July 23, 2011

The Hitcher (2007)

Holy shit Sean Bean makes for a good scary heavy! He was the shining bright light in this otherwise dull remake. It was nice and gross too. So yay for guts!

July 24, 2011

Dylan Dog Dead Of Night (2010)

This was way better than we thought it was gonna be. Superman still can't act but his sidekick more than made up for it. The effects were ok, but did I mention his sidekick? Sam Huntington? He was really good! Peter Stormare (who scares me just by breathing) seemed to lift his performance right out of Constantine so was fine too. All in all, I was pleasantly surprised by this. Low expectations FTW!

July 25, 2011

Cry Wolf (2005)

This movie looked like it should have been made in the 90's. Over plucked eyebrows and turtlenecks were abundant. The movie itself I quite liked. Decent twist, fun to watch. Nice afternoon diversion. 

July 26, 2011

Society (1989)

Another Brian Yuzna grossout! Where else would you get to see the fantastic Billy Warlock emote like a champ? This movie is a total batshit crazy mess. In the best way possible. I'm still not really sure why the stuff that happens, actually does happen. But isn't that one of the charms of a Yuzna flick. Not for the weak of stomach. Butthead.

July 27, 2011

Brain Damage (1988)

Wow. Aylmer is a wormy thing that sings, dances, eats brains and gets you fucked up like a superstar. Problem is, he destroys you while doing this. I so love this messed up world that Frank Henenlotter creates! Grimy, weird, and nonsensical, this place is scary and twisted. I love this movie with my whole heart. 

July 28, 2011

Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)

Dracula wants to end the world? Really? This is a strange little flick from Hammer. It is set in the modern world, and the highlight for me was seeing Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous as the damsel in distress. And a bodacious red head to boot! Odd movie, but fun. It was on the same disc as Argento's Deep Red Hatchet Murders I found at a used DVD place. Wack eh?