Memoirs of an Invisble Man, Malicious, Contagion, Red State, House (1986), Slither, Hellraiser 1&2, Jaws, The Night Flier, The Birds, Lair of the White Worm, The Beast must Die, Taste the Blood of Dracula. Dracula AD 1972, Scars of Dracula, Growth, Dracula has Risen From the Grave, Dracula (1958), The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires

Wow. What a fuckeree this is! So many movies, so little blog. sigh.

Sept 7
Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)

Chris couldn't believe I hadn't seen this. Actually neither can I. It is a totally solid John Carpenter entry. Although I have a hard time seeing Chevy Chase as anyone except Pierce from Community. I keep exclaiming "he is so young/skinny/not hideous!" Really good story here. Good effects too!

Sept 8
Malicious (1996)

Seriously? Molly Ringwald is a psycho? MOLLY RINGWALD? Dude. This entry into the stalker genre is hilariously wonderful. Ms Ringwald (who goes full on topless for this role!) is so totally miscast it would be kind of sad if it was so funny. I don't know if I could recommend this, but if you want to see her boobs it may be for you.

Sept 9
Contagion (2011)

This is the kind of flick that if you are at all germaphobic you will want to avoid (like the plague!). It made me so aware of touching my face it almost hurt. Super scary in the so real I don't want to think about way, that I was a little freaked out for a few days after. It does have fantastic performances (especially by my boyfriend Matt Damon) AND you get to see Gwyneth Paltrow die! Loved it!!

Sept 10
Red State (2011)

Scary church people are scary. Tight story, good acting, Kevin Smith knows how to make a good scary movie.

Sept 12
House (1986)

I remember this being way scarier than it was this time around. In fact this didn't hold up at all. Maybe 'Nam is all so 20 years ago but it was really mediocre. I also thought it was funnier than it was. :((((

Sept 13
Slither (2006)

Genius. Just plain genius. Gross, funny, shocking and a nice ambiguous ending. Did I mention gross? And features an old pal from back in the day Corb Lund. Yee haw!

Sept 14/15
Hellraiser 1/2 (1987/88)

Come on. These are awesome. Except they ruined that weird red meat in Chinese cooking for me. It just looks like Hellraiser leftovers.

Sept 16
Jaws (1975)

How could I have been 7 when this came out? I swear I remember it from back then. My parents did take me to some to sketchy drive-in's. You know, they would have some cartoons, a kids movie than BOOM! GROWN UP TIME. I recall being awake for some stuff I probably shouldn't have seen. Real quiet like. YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT!

Sept17
The Night Flier (1997)

This was truly gross. I was surprised at the gore level. It was way better than I had anticipated, I really kinda dug it. It was cheesy but fun. One of the better King adaptations. I KNOW RIGHT??

Sept 18
The Birds (1958)

I wish there were movies like this. Canon.

Sept 19
Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Twisted. Way more than I recalled. Man, that UK stuff back then was whack. I loved it. Goofy as it seems now, it's so much fun to watch. And gorier too!

Sept 20
The Beast Must Die (1974)

I almost always like these 70's flicks. The atmosphere alone is usually enough to captivate me. This however STUNK. Like rotten chicken bones covered in black bananas bad. Terrible plot, minimal "story" and some amazingly bad acting. Ugh. I can't even.. blech. ugh.

Sept 21
Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Look, I love all these Hammer movies with Christopher Lee in them. He was the balls man. This was a somewhat slapped together story but it was still fun. Those bloody eyeballs freak me the fuck out.

Sept 22
Dracula A.D.1972 (1972)

This was a much more swingin' entry into Dracula's world. It was absolutely the best "modern" Dracula Hammer did I think. LOVE.

Sept 23
Scars of Dracula (1970)

WOW! Drac really gets to sink his teeth into this role. He is NASTY. Not usual vamp nasty, but brutal. Standard plot stuff, but Lee really stepped it up here. LOVE THIS!! Also: they must have gotten a good deal on the reconstituting blood powder. They use it enough.

Sept 25
Growth (2009)

Chris found little gem. I have a fear (like almost all NORMAL people) of parasites and wow.. this did not help that all. It was a surprisingly good low budget bug flick. It was gross enough, and the story totally drew me in. I do have to note the end was slightly confusing (wait until the credits are over to see what I mean) but eh. I am always happy to find little weird movies like this, it helps restore my faith that the Michael Bay's of the world won't take over. Unless they get the bug too....

Sept 26
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)

My notes say "awesome". Let's leave it there shall we?

Sept 27
Dracula (1958)

I've already reviewed this here. It was still a pleasure to watch Peter Cushing star in this mish mash of Drac stories.

Sept 28
Legend of 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

This was one of the strangest co-productions I've watched in like forever. Peter Cushing reprises his Van Helsing role and goes to China. I have no idea how the fuck this nutjob of a flick got made, but I'm kinda glad it did. It's not cinema gold or anything, but damn it was weird. Probably only for true genre fans, this is a hilarious entry into Hammer's legacy. Christopher Lee was offered the Dracula role but after he read the script he (wisely) turned it down. :D

Super, Stakeland, Your Highness, Class of 1984, Don't be Afraid of the Dark, Black Sabbath, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Shrine, Fright Night 2, Quarantine 2: The Terminal, The Silent Scream, The Torture Graden, The Kiss of the Vampire (1962), Final Destination 5, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane, X Men 1&2, Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

Holy shit I let this get away from me again. Rest assured (all 3 of you who care) movies are still being watched, just lazy ass me keeps forgetting to blog about them. Sigh. 

July 29, 2011

Super (2010)

Let's just go with disturbing. It's the only word that sums up how messed up this is. I was thinking it may be a grittier Kickass but it's fucking NOT. Very not what I was expecting from James Gunn. I don't honestly think many people will enjoy this. It was tough to watch. And rapey. :(

July 31, 2011

Stakeland, (2010)

Grim, gritty, great. That's all the notes I have for this. It's really an amazing film. Post-apocalyptic and heartbreaking. LOVED IT.

Aug 1, 2011

Your Highness (2011)

Holy shit gross. Like serious gross. I totally enjoyed this. Hits all the high points of a sword and sorcery flick and the funny stoner comedy. Did I say how gross it was? It really is!!

Aug 2, 2011

Class of 1984 (1981)

Made in T.O. Not really sure why high school kids who run drugs/hookers/and apparently the entire criminal under world bother with actually GOING to HS let alone hassling the music teacher but ok. Roddy McDowell is awesome in this. Ok for a time piece, but not really great. 

Aug 3, 2011

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)

I so remember this when I was small. Scared the freaky shit right out of me and it and Trilogy of Terror provided me with fodder for nightmares that follow me to this day. Well done! It's still spooky to see this, and I know the big budget re-make is out this month. I bet this still wins on the creep factor. Maybe even because of the decor. I mean who hired that guy? 

Aug 4, 2011

Black Sabbath (1963)

A Drop of Water alone is worth watching this. I can still see her face in my dreams. :( Otherwise Boris Karloff is delightful as usual. He's like a spooky Grampa!

Aug 5, 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Amazing. The CG is brilliant and Andy Serkis deserves an Oscar. I had a hard time watching some of this so BINGO. Effective movie. Really really good. Big ass thumbs up.

Aug 7, 2011

The Shrine (2010)

Really weird Polish co-production about a statue that evil's you up good. I was pleasantly surprised by this. 

Aug 8, 2011

Fright Night 2, 1988

How how I not seen this? It was really mediocre after that awesome sauce that was the first one. Charley just isn't that compelling. Oh well. It wasn't terrible but..

Aug 9, 2011

Quarantine 2: The Terminal (2010)

Better than I expected. Low expectations FTW! Some good jump scares and it was gross. Nice afternoon diversion.

Aug 10, 2011

The Silent Scream (1980)

I should have liked this more than I did. But I didn't. It was slow and boring and everyone was ugly. The End.

Aug 11, 2011

The Torture Garden (1967)

Oh how I loved this! Peter Cushing is terrific in it. The stories are fun and LOVE the wrap around. A super excellent horror anthology. Watched this for free on the new Crackle service. They have a decent selection and did I mention FREE?? You go Crackle!

Aug 12, 2011

The Kiss Of The Vampire (1962)

One of Hammer's offerings. Worth it for the sets alone. Entertaining but not as solid as some of their other films. Still, better than most throw away horror flicks nowadays. 

Aug 13, 2011

Final Destination 5 (2011)

I'm over 3D. For reals. Please stop FORCING me to see stuff in it. Ok having said that, this was a nifty little trick of a flick. Fits in with the rest of the universe and is a decent summer popcorn muncher. It touched on two particular neuroses for Chris and I so was fantastically effective. Good fun. 

Aug 13, 2011

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

HOLY SHIT ON A SHINGLE. I really loved this. It is a shame it's been buried in a vault for no one to enjoy as it was super fun to watch. Gory, funny, unexpected. Really outstanding. Catch it if you can. If you know what I mean. 

Aug 14/15, 2011

X Men 1/2, (2000/2003)

Chris wanted to re-watch these. They were fun. 

Aug 16, 2011

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009)

Fairly mindless fun. It's always nice to see Danielle Harris (who does a bang up job in Stakeland BTW) and Bill Moseley working. The plot? Well.. when the lead monster ghost thing has huge fake boobs and is supposed to have been a poor demented thing living in an asylum all her life, you know what you're getting yourself into. Fine for what it was.

Valentine, 8mm, Shockwaves, Jurassic Park 2 & 3, Trollhunter, Hide & Creep, Hellraiser 5: Inferno, Dementia 13, Wolfen

Apr 15, 2011

Valentine (2001)

I know I've seen this before, maybe more than once. It really is that forgettable. The thing I took away from this movie was how ugly our shoes were in the 90's and early 00's. Big clunky ugly, heavy heeled things. Appalling. Oh and Marley Shelton is ADORABLE. 

Apr 16, 2011

8mm (1999)

I made Chris watch this with me. I had seen it before but he hadn't. It was a rather restrained role for Mr Cage. He pulled back the lunacy until the very end, well done! It makes me laugh how we were so "Oh a movie about snuff films!" back in the day. Now? Ha! They didn't show any real gross violence (strike one). The sex was pretty non weird for a supposed underground (strike two), and they didn't even show the money shot of the whole thing! STRIKE THREE. It did, however have Peter Stormare who scares the shit out of me for real. Also Joaquin Phoenix is sweetly amoral. Don't get me wrong, I actually really liked it. It was a good movie, even if they did wuss out on the ending. I'd say watch it. Good fun.

GONE TO VEGAS !! BACK SOON!

Apr 22, 2011

Shock Waves (1977)

Back from Vegas with a bang! How can you not love Nazi Zombies? SERIOUSLY HOW?? This is such a fun movie! The people are stupid, it has Peter Cushing and NAZI ZOMBIES!!! SO. MUCH. AWESOME.

Apr 23, 2011

Jurassic Park 2&3 (1997, 2001)

We did a double header creature feature. They are very different movies but both enjoyable in their own ways. 2 brings back Ian Malcolm (sexy scientist extraordinaire!) and his kid (ugh, hate that trope) and girlfriend (Julianne Moore). Dinos are still around, and San Diego needs to be saved. It was pretty corny, but I have to say I LOVE DINO-SOURS! 3 was actually a better movie as far they go, with more action and Sam Neill reprising his JP1 role. The Velociraptors are back and there is a new scarier bigger ickier monster too. It also has Pterodactyls! Like Pterri from Pee-Wee's playhouse! 

See? I'm biased but I liked the JP movies. Good clean fun. With people getting eaten. The best kind of fun!

Apr 24, 2011

Trollhunter (2010)

I've had this movie for a while now and I've tried to convince Chris to watch it with me. He thought it sounded stupid until he saw a trailer on some website. Then he was all "Why haven't we watched this? It looks amazing!" Sometimes I could beat him with a pointy stick. Anyways, it was like a Norwegian Blair Witch with Trolls instead of witches. Super effects (especially if you like the Gnomes book when you were small like I did) and really good acting. The Trollhunter himself was grand to watch. What a super chill dude. Really good film. Search this out, it will be worth it. 

Apr 25, 2011

Hide And Creep (2004)

Now this is a low budget flick worth watching! I bitch about movies that have shitty effects/acting/writing but this surprisingly had all three and still manages to work. The premise is as thin as my softest sheets, but it is truly entertaining still. The director also wrote and stars in it. He is particularly good as Chuck. Which is his name IRL. Coincidence? I doubt it. Somehow this turned out to be great fun. If you like zombies (and if you don't.. why are you reading this? Really?) go on, watch it. It's on Netflix.

Apr 25, 2011

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)

Look, I like this movie ok? I know the gazillion sequels, remakes and re-boots are annoying as shit, but this, this is different. It has Craig "one expression" Sheffer in it! He of Nightbreed fame! It's a very Noir-ish thriller with very little Pinhead in it at all. It's a time travel/mindfuck of fun.

Apr 26, 2011

Dementia 13 (1963)

Francis Ford Coppola's first foray into directing. He came from Roger Corman's stable of hired hands and you can sure see that influence here. Alternately cheesy and creepy, this is full of stereotypes and overacting. All a staple in this genre/time period. Most enjoyable.

Apr 27, 2011

Wolfen (1981)

Holy shit this is the worst. Just the fucking worst. A terrible movie with niether werewolves or shapeshifting depsite what (the very young) Edward James Olmos says. Boring, long winded, and using way too much heat sensing filters, this will make you want to claw your eyes out for relief. I couldn't care less about the hippy bullshit eco warrior nonsense and the noble savage angle. BORING. Ugh this movie made me so unhappy that I wanted to kill a unicorn.

Blessed, Swamp Thing (1982), Drive Angry, The Bad Seed, Sleepwalkers, The Possession Of David O'Reilly, The Disappeared, The Astronaut's Wife

So you can totally tell I finally broke down and got the Netflix streaming service eh? HOLY SHIT BAD MOVIES! Also I see where Heather Graham's career went to die

Feb 25, 2011

Blessed (2004)

 So this was a pretty standard pregnant with the devil's spawn. But boring. And no one cared. Especially me.

Feb 26, 2011

Swamp Thing (1982)

I'm not sure what is more shocking, that I have never seen this or how much Chris and I enjoyed MST3K-ing it. It was a great dude in a rubber suit flick, and Adrienne Barbeau looked pretty good back in the day. Also I LOVE Ray Wise. That was pretty awesome. But it was a little bit lame story wise. Sorry Wes Craven, you are no John Carpenter. Silly fun but I won't watch it again.

Feb 27, 2011

Drive Angry (2011)
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. This was AWESOME with a capital FUCK YOU. Overblown, overacted, overdriven. ALL GOOD SHIT YA'LL. I really really enjoyed this hell out of this. Super fun. SUPER. Now shut up haters.

Feb 28, 2011
The Bad Seed (1956)
Ye Gods and little fishes I love killer kids. I love Rhoda and her smarmy-ness. This is a fantastic example overwrought melodrama and is so much fun to watch. Even if they wussed out on the original ending, it is a great example of the period. Go watch it now. You're welcome.

Mar 1, 2011
Sleepwalkers (1992)
Wow. The 90's had some terrible clothes huh? And lipstick? Why did we wear such gross lipstick? Boy, Madchen Amick is sure lovely! And when I see Alice Krige all I can see is the crazy ass bitch from Silent Hill. This is cheesy good fun. Incest-y, cat hating shape shifters are probably really bad neighbours. Too many damn cats pissing in the flower beds. Pretty fun flick to watch.

Mar 2, 2011
The Possession of David O'Reilly (2008)
My notes are comprised of this: Oh god why am I still watching this? Piece of shit. Confusing. Muddled. UGH. JUST LEAVE. So yeah... pretty much that.

Mar 2, 2011
The Disappeared (2008)
This on the other hand was really pretty good. Great spooky atmosphere, tight story and nicely restrained performances. Little UK gem this one. Recommended.

Mar 2, 2011
The Astronauts Wife (1999)
And to round out the festival of WTF is this little cheestacular offering. Johnny Depp should neither have short blond hair or a southern accent. And isn't this almost the exact same plot as Devil's Advocate that she was in too? Yeah, a funny enough evening killer. I don't reckon they intended it that way but at this point, take what you can get eh?


Also quite apparent, my husband is away for the next few days. Expect many movies to be watched. Oh yeah..