Puppet Master, Fear of the Dark, Battle Los Angeles, House (1977), My Soul to Take, The Pit and the Pendulum (1991), Horror Hotel (1955), Warlock 3

Mar 9, 2011

Puppet Master (1989)

Um.. I've never seen this before. Look, I'm the first to admit there are all kinds of holes in my horror lexicon. I'm glad to fill this one. What fun! Spooky little bastards that KILL KILL KILL! What's not to love? Of course I do have some nit picking.. like MAYBE SCREAMING FOR HELP is a good idea? You never know, maybe it'll pay off BY NOT DYING. But who am I to judge?

Mar 10, 2011

Fear of the Dark (2003)

Oh Netflix you tricky dicky. Sometimes the best of a bad lot is set upon me by sheer laziness. I could have gone and looked for something better than this, but noooooo. The acting was far to slick for kids. I actively wanted this little shit who had the FEAR OF THE DARK and his whole enabling shit headed family to get eaten by something, but NO. There were plots holes aplenty and for having such cool looking monsters, why did they barely use them? FAIL. DO NOT WATCH. UGH.

Mar 11, 2011

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

I have never seen so many US Marines cry like bitches in a movie. I was embarrassed for them. The writing was incredibly juvenile, the acting was over the top terrible and, and.. it was full of fucking shaky cam. The effects looked good, when I could see them. But this was bloody awful. A complete joke right? Someone please tell me this was a joke.... 

Also: Aaron Eckhart's chin looked like an anus in his Marine helmet chin strap thingy.  Yeah I went there.

Mar 13, 2011

House (1977)

Where the hell did this come from?!? What a fantastic flick! Chris had no idea what I was getting him to watch (nor did I for that matter) and as it starts he was utterly confused as to why I was showing a Japanese schoolgirl romance! BUT NO WAIT THERE'S MORE! It turns into a batshit crazy ghost/vampire trippy freakout! When you consider it was made the same year as Suspiria it makes you wonder if Argento and
Obayashi were taking the same LSD. Super bizarre and very very fun. It did give Chris a really bad dream about pianos though. Be warned.

Mar 14, 2011

My Soul to Take (2010)

Wes Craven should be ashamed of this piece of boring shit. Not gross, not interesting. You are too old to try to write like Diablo Cody (who is too old to write like Diablo Cody as well) so stop. Let it go. BORING.

Mar 15, 2011

The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)

There is a whole lot of Poe jammed into this movie. You should be able to count in at least 3 stories I think. Lance Henriksen really sells the Torquemada angle and Jeffrey Combs is hugely awesome. A pretty interesting adaptation of the story, had some nice gore in to keep you watching. A nice afternoon movie.

Mar 16, 2011

Horror Hotel (1955)

Oh I loved this! Christopher Lee as a professor discussing witchcraft, leading his student to seek a small village to do her "term paper". OMG you can imagine how well that goes for her. I do love me a good Satanic Panic flick and this totally doesn't disappoint. My only gripe was my copy was pretty grim looking. Lots of too black blacks and it was pretty grainy. But I do so love these oldies.. and it made me want cake! Bonus points for that.

Mar 16, 2011

Warlock 3 The End of Innocence (1998)

My notes say "more witchy hjinks!". I don't know why I enjoyed this as much as I did. It wasn't particularly compelling. The acting wasn't that great, the effects were fine. I must have been just in that right mood to like the hell out of this innocuous little direct-to-video-I'm-sure movie. It was fun. Not great cinema, but fun.

Soul Survivors, Dark Mirror, June 9th, Survivors (BBC), Blade, Triangle, Cronos, Fallen Angels (2007)

Mar 3, 2011

Soul Survivors (2001)

Ugh. There was a huge influx of these stupid movies 10 years or so ago. Thanks Scream. This one is dumber than most and my notes say "It was all a dream. Or you were dead. Or who cares". SPOILER.

sigh.

Mar 3, 2011

Dark Mirror (2007)

I was hoping this would wash away the bad taste from the previous movie, NOPE. Bad actress with bad skin. Did she do it or DID THE MIRROR?? DO I CARE? Again, from my notes. Oh Netflix.. you are letting me down...

Mar 4, 2011

June 9th (2008)

This is a total Blair Witch ripoff with absolutely no payoff what so ever. It didn't know what it wanted to be or do, so it dragged us around with these loser kids for a bunch of pointless set up time that had no punchline. Terrible movie. DO NOT WATCH.

Mar 5, 2011

Survivors (BBC, TV 2008)

This is the pilot for a tv show that goes on for 2 seasons so far. It was a lot like the BBC Triffid series so neither Chris or I could get past that to really get into this. It was the same old plague story with no new twists at all. Like a very dull UK version of the Stand. Boring.

 Mar 5, 2011

Blade (1998)

I had to have a sure thing so Blade it is. This wipes away almost all the badness I've subjected myself to. I fucking love this movie. I remember leaving the theatre with Chris thinking I was gonna be a ninja vampire killing MACHINE and kicking him the butt all the way home. For reals. Action, funny and even though some motherfucker always gotta ice skate uphill, if I can watch a grade a piece of flim like this, I'm ok with that. Damn I love you Blade.

Mar 6, 2011

Triangle (2009)

I had no idea what this was about the first time I watched it. HOLY SHIT! What a great payoff and man oh man do I love me some time travel movies! Melissa George is great in it, and the hard driven plot really grabs your cough by the halls! More movies like this please.

Mar 7, 2011

Cronos (1992)

Beautiful and moving. Funny and disturbing. Sad and hopeful. Del Toro makes art pieces come to life and injects them with this sense of wonder that most films never achieve. He stands alone with his subjects and makes you really know them. Gorgeous.

Mar 8, 2011

Fallen Angels (2007)

What a pretentious piece of shit this was. With a GREAT who's who of horror films cast, this had potential to be something different and new, but it shit the bed in the worst diarrhea like way. The effects looked like they were done using plasticine and rubber glue. They were embarrassingly awful and amateurish. And HINT: shaky cam won't make a crappy rubber suit look any better than it does Mr Jeff Thomas (dir). The ending was supposed to be poignant but turned out to be

preachy saccharine bullshit. Seriously, this was so terrible I thought for sure there would be a wink and a nod at the end or something. God awful in the first degree. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

Blessed, Swamp Thing (1982), Drive Angry, The Bad Seed, Sleepwalkers, The Possession Of David O'Reilly, The Disappeared, The Astronaut's Wife

So you can totally tell I finally broke down and got the Netflix streaming service eh? HOLY SHIT BAD MOVIES! Also I see where Heather Graham's career went to die

Feb 25, 2011

Blessed (2004)

 So this was a pretty standard pregnant with the devil's spawn. But boring. And no one cared. Especially me.

Feb 26, 2011

Swamp Thing (1982)

I'm not sure what is more shocking, that I have never seen this or how much Chris and I enjoyed MST3K-ing it. It was a great dude in a rubber suit flick, and Adrienne Barbeau looked pretty good back in the day. Also I LOVE Ray Wise. That was pretty awesome. But it was a little bit lame story wise. Sorry Wes Craven, you are no John Carpenter. Silly fun but I won't watch it again.

Feb 27, 2011

Drive Angry (2011)
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. This was AWESOME with a capital FUCK YOU. Overblown, overacted, overdriven. ALL GOOD SHIT YA'LL. I really really enjoyed this hell out of this. Super fun. SUPER. Now shut up haters.

Feb 28, 2011
The Bad Seed (1956)
Ye Gods and little fishes I love killer kids. I love Rhoda and her smarmy-ness. This is a fantastic example overwrought melodrama and is so much fun to watch. Even if they wussed out on the original ending, it is a great example of the period. Go watch it now. You're welcome.

Mar 1, 2011
Sleepwalkers (1992)
Wow. The 90's had some terrible clothes huh? And lipstick? Why did we wear such gross lipstick? Boy, Madchen Amick is sure lovely! And when I see Alice Krige all I can see is the crazy ass bitch from Silent Hill. This is cheesy good fun. Incest-y, cat hating shape shifters are probably really bad neighbours. Too many damn cats pissing in the flower beds. Pretty fun flick to watch.

Mar 2, 2011
The Possession of David O'Reilly (2008)
My notes are comprised of this: Oh god why am I still watching this? Piece of shit. Confusing. Muddled. UGH. JUST LEAVE. So yeah... pretty much that.

Mar 2, 2011
The Disappeared (2008)
This on the other hand was really pretty good. Great spooky atmosphere, tight story and nicely restrained performances. Little UK gem this one. Recommended.

Mar 2, 2011
The Astronauts Wife (1999)
And to round out the festival of WTF is this little cheestacular offering. Johnny Depp should neither have short blond hair or a southern accent. And isn't this almost the exact same plot as Devil's Advocate that she was in too? Yeah, a funny enough evening killer. I don't reckon they intended it that way but at this point, take what you can get eh?


Also quite apparent, my husband is away for the next few days. Expect many movies to be watched. Oh yeah..

Frailty, Cloverfield, The Signal, The Thing (1982), In The Mouth Of Madness, Day Of The Triffids (2010), Dead Snow (2007), Cropsey

Feb 16, 2011

Frailty (2001)

How can you go wrong with demons and righteous killings? Well you can't. Directed by Bill Paxton, this is a fabulous little gem. Full of tension and religious crazy, it's a really wonderful movie.

Feb 18, 2011

Cloverfield (2008)

It's funny, both Chris and I hate the shaky cam with the flaming passion of a thousand fiery suns, yet this movie is a win for both of us. Chris in particular LOVES it. I do love an unhappy ending and this fits the bill to a T. It surprises me that Chris likes this as much as he does, he is far more of a lovely optimist than I am. We're all just enigmas aren't we?

Feb 19, 2011

The Signal (2007)

We watched this for the first time in Vegas when we stayed at the Paris. The TV there sucked, it was a small tube TV but we always watch at least one movie there and I really wanted to see this so.... It was transfixing. I love a 3 view film and was completely wowed by this. Great performances, and an amazing idea made into a fantastic movie. Small budget doesn't mean small film. I love this movie. LOVE.

Feb 20, 2011

The Thing (1982)

Not a woman in sight. Except the chess computer who gets trashed in the first 10 minutes. You'd think as a woman this would be an issue for me, but HELLS NO. We watched this with commentary as it is like the 20th time I've watched it, and JC doesn't disappoint. He and Kurt Russell have a grand time dissecting and discussing this classic. Amazing.

Feb 21, 2011

In The Mouth Of Madness (1992)

I had no idea Mr Carpenter considered The Thing, ITMOM and Prince Of Darkness to be a trilogy. His Apocalypse trilogy to be precise. The end of the world is a great subject. This Cthulhu-esque Lovecraftian end of days tale is so fucking fun to watch. Sam Neill is hilarious and super fun to watch. I'm on a roll with good stuff right now...

Feb 21/22, 2011

Day Of The Triffids (2009)

And the roll ends here. Argh. This was laughable, campy and sin of sins, boring. We stuck it out for 4 hours, and I am not a better for it. I may have lost a few IQ points but Chris and I did piss ourselves laughing a few times so it wasn't a total loss. It only mostly was. :(

Feb 23, 2011

Dead Snow (2007)

One of my pals came over to knit and she has a small obsession with getting me to watch horror movies with her, so I picked this one. We laughed, she covered her eyes, we cheered, she covered her eyes, we groaned, she covered her eyes. It was a great success. Great fun and nice knits in it to boot. NAZI ZOMBIES.

Feb 24, 2011
Cropsey (2009)

This aforementioned friend finally convinced me to sign up for the free month of Netflix. My first pass through, I found this documentary that I have been WEEING to see for ages! So hurrah for that! I may have built this up a little so was a titch underwhelmed. The story was pretty interesting, but it wasn't that compelling for me. Maybe if I was from Staten Island, but it left me a little bit bored. Oh well, the glory of Netflix is there is always more...

Psych 9, Black Water, Nightmare, Planet Terror, From Beyond, Countess Dracula, Dead and Buried

Feb 9, 2011

Psych 9 (2007)

My notebook says CONFUSING. And apparently forgettable. Cause that is what I have to reply on since I can barely remember watching this. Not a ringing endorsement eh? 

Feb 10, 2011

Black Water (2007)

I used to think I wasn't a creature feature gal, but these killa croc movies (like Rogue) are changing my mind. This was another Aussie gem. I can't imagine living in a country where everything wants to kill you, but it sure makes for a good movie setting! Loved it. 

Feb 11, 2011

Nightmare (1958)

There wasn't much of a Nightmare to be found here, but there was a good "gaslighting" thing going on. Great visuals, and such charming nightgowns! I enjoy these oldies, the B&W is amazing. Lovely and even a little twisted at the end. Fun.

Feb 12, 2011

Planet Terror (2007)

This is one of Chris' favourite movies EVER. He is an absolute freak for it. We watched this with commentary by Robert Rodriguez, which was AWESOME. He gives lots of insights about movie making and had nothing but interesting stuff to say. This is gloriously gross, funny and all things nasty. A modern classic. 

Feb 13, 2011

From Beyond (1986)

I've seen this many many times, and it holds up so damn well. Based on Lovecraft, with a young Jeffrey Coombs and Stuart Gordon directing that is movie GOLD! 

Feb 14, 2011

Countess Dracula (1971)

This was a very loose re-telling of the Elizabeth Bathory legend, with little no to no gore or violence. There were lots of boobs, but ultimately this was one of the more boring Hammer offerings I've ever seen. Can not recommend. :/

Feb 15, 2011

Dead & Buried (1981)

Holy mind fuck Batman! This is truly twisted and weird in the best way possible. Gross, and surprisingly creepy, this is an awesome movie. The only beef I had? The opening music was goofy. Not funny goofy, just goofy. WATCH IT. 

Night Of The Creeps, The Forsaken, Predators, Constantine, After Midnight, Lemora A Child's Tale of the Supernatural

Feb 4, 2011

Night Of The Creeps (1986)

How did I miss this in high school? I was probably cheer leading or studying. HA! I was probably drunk and shaving my head in public parks. Anyways, this is a great little flick. Zombie preppies (which I really would have loved back in the day) a dude with an unexplained crippling disease and the most vanilla, boring bland hero I have ever seen. He is truly my only gripe with NotC. She (the heroine) totally should have got with the dude with the crutches. He was hilarious! I love most movies with zombie animals and this was no exception. Zombie terrier FTW! Most awesome and fun.

Feb 5, 2011

The Forsaken (2001)

I had to make room on my DVR. That's my excuse. The excuse for this shitty movie. Who made it may have a better one but I doubt it. This was so trying to be After Dark or the Lost Boys or something.. but it is a FAIL. Lifeless and boring. I should be choosier about what I DVR I think.

Feb 6, 2011

Predators (2010)

Dear Adrian Brody, if you have worked out like a crazy person to get a phenomenal physique, please don't wait until the last 15 minutes of the movie to show me this. Talk to your fellow actor Mr Ryan Reynolds. Thank you. I enjoyed this movie. It was slick, but gross and fun and it has Danny Trejo. I love him. The action was tight, it was beautifully shot, all good stuff. A pleasant afternoon watch. 

Feb 6, 2011

Constantine (2005)

I love this movie. I love love love it. Keanu is good, Rachel is good, Peter Stormare is TERRIFYING and even Shia Le Beouf isn't that annoying. I have watched this too many times to be objective about it. It really is just that entertaining to me. I love it, The end. This was also the first movie we watched on our new 60 inch LCD. It just came today. I am in TV heaven.

Feb 7, 2011

After Midnight (1989)

Wow. This is bloodless weirdness at its worst. Seriously, the acting was awful, and the premise? Even for a jaded junkie like me it was a mish mash of crap. The teacher guy was literally eye rolling crazy. Which was kinda funny. But wore pretty thin pretty quick. It tried far too hard to be a bunch of movies and failed at all of them. I don't think even the most fanatical horror movie person should watch this, no one should. 

Feb 8, 2011

Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973)

And then there is Lemora. One of the weirdest most bat shit crazy movies I have seen in a really long time. Seriously, this was bonkers nutso. A 13 year old girl whose father is a gangster gets adopted by a church. She gets a note saying her father, who has escaped custody is dying and wants to see her. So she runs away. Then the crazy world takes over. I don't wanna write out a synopsis for you, other people already have. Let's just suffice to say if you like wacked out strange 70's flicks, SEE THIS IMMEDIATELY. I'm torn between highly recommending this to everyone, and never speaking of it again. I think I love it. Also SPOILER: unhappy endings are my favourite kind. 

Ichi The Killer, Spider Baby, The Curse Of Frankenstein, Apparitions, Rabid, Paranormal Activity 2, The Horror Of Dracula

Jan 29, 2011

Ichi The Killer (2001)

I totally forgot how fucked up Miikes' movies are. It's been ages since we watched this and OMG. The audacity it must have taken to make this in the first place.. I can't even imagine. It's rapey badness and violent and plain old batshit crazy. I mean truly truly insane. It was tougher to watch than I remember but has glorious payoffs. It's funny, disgusting, upsetting and GROSS. Hats off Mr Miike, you ARE gonzo cinema. I will be revisiting more of this soon. 

Jan 30, 2011

Spider Baby (1964)

I love this movie with my whole black heart. It's silly, funny, and even truly creepy. Jake (my 18 year old son) came in when we were watching this. He sat down and totally enjoyed it with us. Well really why not? Gorgeous girls in nighties running around, Captain Spaulding as a young bald semi-moron and the threat of the spider game. Who wouldn't love it. The commentary is totally worth listening to and the special features on the DVD are great. Go get this gem. It's wonderful. 

Jan 31, 2011

The Curse Of Frankenstein (1957)

I have such a terrific crush on Christopher Lee it isn't even funny. This re-telling of the Shelley story isn't really unique in any way but it is enjoyable as hell to watch. I find Peter Cushing to be a cold fish in most stuff, but he is actually lecherously fabulous in this. Truly a single minded jerk. Lovely as usual Hammer sets (which I am starting to recognise!) and costumes. 

Jan 31, Feb 1 & 2, 2011

Apparitions (2008)

I watched this BBC offering over 3 days (it was 6 hours!) interspersed with other stuff. It was a classic exorcist tale, with the very charismatic Martin Shaw as Father Jacob. A priest who investigates miracles. He gets caught up in a demonic kerfuffle, and hilarity ensues. Well maybe not hilarious for everyone, but it was pretty good TV. It did feel a little overtly preachy at times, but there was enough creepy shit going on to keep me interested for most of the 6 hours. 

Feb 1, 2011

Rabid (1976)

I love that David Croenenberg is unapologetically Canadian. Setting this in Montreal? Awesome. His movies are classic tales of body horror. I love him, I love them, I love Marilyn Chambers, I love it all. 

Feb 2, 2011

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

We really enjoyed this first one of these flicks. I especially love watching my husband get really really wound up and freaked out. This sequel amps up the scares and gets into the mythos of the story a little bit more. It gets into the action pretty quickly and was really really fun to watch. And so was Chris. 

Feb 3, 2011

The Horror Of Dracula (1958)

More Hammer horror. Mr Lee wearing the most awful contacts ever in this film. I read he couldn't see at all when he wore them, and kept missing marks. It is a rather mixed up version of Bram Stoker's novel, but that doesn't detract from the fun.Yay Hammer!

Phew, that was huge. I really have to try to blog more frequently.