Grub von Krampus!!

DECEMBER!!!!

This is when I really did hit the wall. It was tough to find movies that engaged me. I also spent a lot of time playing video games (SKYRIM!) so time got et pretty good there too. Here's a list with a few thoughts on what I managed to see this month. 

American Psycho (2000)

 Mary Harron is a genius. Bale looks exactly right. This is satire at it's finest.

Silent Hill (2006)

One of my favourite movies ever. EVER I SAID.

American Horror Story (TV) (2011)

Seriously amazing show. Reams have already been written about this, so what pithy thoughts could I have to add to an enormous, sweeping wasteland of TV goodness? Well I think this was a pretty brave effort for a genre that gets overlooked time and again by the straight media world. It was gruesome and ballsy. And I am always for an unhappy ending. They are taking this in the right direction for season 2 as well. New house, new ghosts. I can't wait to see what happens. 

Devil (2010)

Re-watch for me this year. I really dig this. Shamalamdingdong returns to form. Even if it is only in a producing way. 

Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte/Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1964/1962)

My MIL suggested these. I've seen them both but as a double feature? Wow! That Bette Davis could play one crazy bitch fo sho! Great melodramas, full of creepy icky-ness.

The Elephant Man (1980)

I can't believe Chris or I had never seen this! Early Lynch, and a very straight forward tale. Genius makeups and great fun to watch. I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!!!

Cowboys and Aliens (2011)

BORING/TOO LONG.

Nightmare Factory (2011)

A fantastic doc about Mr Greg Nicotero. I always like to think if I had done what my heart desired when I was younger I would have done movie makeup. I have a slight obsession with it. It was terrific to see how the genesis of KNB Effects came about and to see people who love what they do, is always a treat. 

Bag of Bones (TV) (2011)

Ambitious project for 4 hours. I don't think it's anywhere near as long as King's novel deserved, but we take what we can these days eh? Missed great HUGE chunks of story that were essential to understanding, but as I have read it (recently even) more than once I filled in the blanks myself. If you hadn't read it, I reckon it would have been a hot mess of HUH? all the way through. Props to A&E for even trying.

Buried (2010)

This movie was the fucking worst. WORST I TELL YOU. HE FUCKING DIES SO WHAT IS THE POINT?? ugh.

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Tom Cruise's teeth are a fucking horror show alone. One front tooth? OMG NOOOOOOOOOO. The movie was ok, but that TOOOOOOOTH!!!!

Skeleton Key (2005)

Another unhappy ending. Love this flick. Totally holds up.

Mystery Men (1999)

First time I've watched this in HD. 

LOVE. PURE LOVE.

Chillerama (2011)

Well well well... I was so stoked to watch this. 3 of my genre dudes making an anthology? Woot! So, great was my disappointment with this. I dunno, maybe I'm too old but this Sucked. Balls. It was the equivalent to a fart joke at a funeral. I can hardly express my dismay. The whole thing was awkward, juvenile (and HELLO I AM A 14 YEAR OLD TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A MIDDLE AGED LADY HERE!) and painful to watch. Stupid. :((((

Susprira (1977)

Master work of Argento. Yup, his crowning achievement. 

Ghosts of Mars (2001)

Proof I am a 14 yr old boy at heart. This Heavy Metal comic story brought to life is hilariously awesomeful in all the right ways.

A Whisper to a Scream (1987)

A little anthology about a terrible town and the creepy people it breeds. A fun little diversion, probably for genre fans only. Mr Vincent Price was smooth as always.

Madhouse (1974)

A little trippy freak out flick that again starred Mr Price. There were some incredible plot holes (and Peter Cushing too!) but damn if Chris and I didn't watch the whole thing. 

I haven't included some of the stuff that I watch on a regular basis throughout the year like Supernatural (best horror TV show EVER. Take that Buffy!)  on the blog. I tried really hard to do a movie a day and I am really proud of what I did manage to accomplish. Because you know, sitting on my ass is something I really have to strive for. Seriously though, when I do my wrap up post ( I think I need a fact checker.. hello? Chris?) I'll have some interesting things to report I think.

I hope you all (all 6 of you that read this!) had a happy new years eve.. stay tuned that wrap up I talked about will be coming soon. Not to a theatre near you.

The Gorgon, Monkey Shines, Shelter, Death Becomes Her, Forget Me Not, House (Hasu), Children Of The Corn: Genesis, Deep Red, Bird With The Crystal Plumage, 30 Days of Night

I have got to admit this, I have hit the wall when it comes to horror movies. I can't find any new ones that spark my interest. If I see one more shallow twat getting stalked by a murderous killer, I may turn into one (either one frankly)  myself. I think this last month will be tough to get through and will require a Herculean strength of will. Thankfully I hate Christmas more, and that usually fuels a return to the love of all things evil. Hail Satin! Or however that goes...

Nov 14

The Gorgon (1964)

Poor Megaera, her looks leave you cold. And stoned. Mr Lee arrives to save the day. Kinda. 

Nov 15

Monkey Shines (1988)

I had no idea that George Romero wrote and directed this. I think it may actually rise above Martin as my favourite film of his. Terrific story, well acted and some nice monkey action make for a fun flick. That little monkey Ella, can come and dust my house anytime. 

Nov 16

Shelter (2010)

I had never heard of this movie before I saw it on one of the movie channels. It was tagged as a horror film so I DVR'ed it and am I ever glad I did!! The always awesome Julianne Moore (who I have a terrific girl crush on) is spot on form as a forensic psychiatrist who gets involved with a case that turns out to question and shatter her deep religious beliefs. I really liked the performance by Jonathan Rhys Myers too. And, it has Hill People in it! I truly enjoyed this movie, will definitely re-watch this!

Nov 17

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Black humour and Isabella Rosellini's side boob. Yup. Pretty fun. 

Nov 18

Forget Me Not (2009)

For all the bitching I've done about new movies sucking balls, this one was pretty fun too. For a tired genre, this is pretty damn original. It has some good twists and turns and looked great too. I genuinely enjoyed this low-budget outing. 

Nov 20

House/Hasu (1975)

I ordered the blu-ray Criterion edition of this and as soon as it got to us we ripped it open and popped it in. OMG STILL BATSHIT CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! This is a stand out movie on all levels. Classic. 

Nov 21

Children Of The Corn: Genesis (2011)

Well, this wasn't as terrible as most of the sequels. Billy Drago is in it. He looks like a dessicated corpse and that was kinda scary. So yeah.. umm.. I barely remember this movie at all. :/

Nov 22

Deep Red (1975)

1975 was a good year for movies. Classic Argento.I love Daria Nicolodi in this movie so much.

Nov 23

Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970)

Classic Giallo. Beautifully shot. Wonderful.

Nov 27

30 Days of Night (2007)

This is one of my top 10 horror movies I think. Chris doesn't get it and I'm not sure I do entirely either. I think the vampires themselves have an enormous amount to do with it. There ain't a sparkle in the whole bunch of them. In fact they darkle (look it up). Danny Houston is magnificent as Marlow. I (only after watching this yesterday for the like 10th time) finally understood who he was. The actor I mean. I love you Mr Houston. I really do. This whole movie really does my head in. The cold, the isolation, the whisper quietness.. it all works as a wonderfully terrifying flick for me. <3 <3 <3

The 7th Victim, Moon, House of Wax (2005), The Haunting (1963), Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Phenomena, Immortals, House on Haunted Hill (1999)

Nov 3

The 7th Victim (1943)

Not much horror in this. A "Satanic" cult drives a woman towards suicide because she reveals them. Shadowy and dark, it's got more style than substance.

Nov 4

Moon (2009)

I love Sam Rockwell. Just getting that out of the way. This is an amazing sci-fi flick with far more heart than explosions. I love it, and I love Duncan Jones and I love Kevin Spacey as GERTY. This movie is full of love. And clones. 

Nov 8

House of Wax (2005)

This was made back when Paris Hilton was relevant to pop culture. Looking back on it now, she did a right competent job as kill fodder. Seriously! This is a nasty little movie. I like it. A LOT. 

Nov 9

Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)

Everyone seems to love this movie. I don't really understand why. It's is populated by ugly people doing boring shit. Like watching your slightly trashy neighbours have a fight outside, it's mildly interesting, but you really have no idea what it's about. Unfinished plot lines, more ugly people and no real pace keeps this safely in the "good to groom my dogs to" camp. Dirty Hippies.

Nov 9

The Haunting (1963)

I remember being very freaked out the first time I saw this. Not so much second time around, but it is lovely. Even though it made me fall asleep due to it's snail like pacing and very quiet soundtrack. I had a really good nap as I recall, so that's something. Right?

Nov 10

Phenomena (1985)

A very young Jennifer Connelly shows off her chops in this Argento freak out. Set in a girls school, this weird, sweet fantasy horror is a likeable flick with some really nice gore and just plain strange stuff filling it. The ending is a trip and I love a good bug killing!

Nov 11

Immortals (2011)

HOLY SHIT! THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I CAN'T EVEN... LOVE LOVE LOVE. GROSS!!!!!

OMG MICKEY ROURKE GAAAAAAAAAHAWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

Nov 13

House on Haunted Hill (1999)

Chris likes to comment on how many good movies came out that year. The Matrix, Fight Club, The Sixth Sense, Galaxy Quest.. you know, classics.  And this. Yeah, this. Seriously! Chris Kattan alone is worth watching it. It is a popcorn flick to be sure, but such a fun gross one! We love this movie. we really do. You should too! Exclamation points!!!

Corridors of Blood, Battle Royale, The Reaping, Return of the Living Dead, Suicide Club, Motel Hell, The Woman In Black

Oct 29

Corridors of Blood (1958)

Boris Karloff is trying to find a way to make surgery painless, but gets all fucked up in the process. A handsome Mr Christopher Lee is Resurrection Joe, a villain if you've ever seen one. Charming low horror flick.

Oct 30

Battle Royale (2000)

Wow. Wow wowie wow wow wow. How I love this movie. The weird stilted dialogue. The insane premise, the kids! One of the best j-horror-ish flicks EVER. Not traditional horror, but societal horror. Absolute fucking genius. The re-make will be tragic. 

Oct 31

The Reaping (2007)

I kinda like this movie. It's a little predictable, but has some really nice effects and Ms Swank looks pretty great in it. My notes say "I can has abortion?". Ha ha I crack me up. 

Oct 31

Return Of The Living Dead (1985)

It's Halloween! Party like it's 1985! Canon.

Nov 1

Suicide Club (2001)

This is the only movie out of all of the ones I have re-watched that made less sense when I was sober. I don't have to understand it to like it. Messed up. The tranny bowling alley musical scene is just... err....

Nov 2

Motel Hell (1980)

This was way weirder than I thought it would it be. It is full of ugly people too. People really just made bad decisions back in the day didn't they? I suppose that is how shit like this got made. Bad decisions and ugly people.

Nov 3

The Woman in Black (1989)

British ghosts don't fuck around do they? They will follow you home and KICK YOUR ASS. There is a lovely little terrier called Spider in this. He was grand.

Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell, Spontaneous Combustion, The Thing (2011), Trick 'R Treat, Mimic, Night of the Demon, The Legend of Hell House, The House of Usher, The Old Dark House, Deadline, Tales from the Darkside, Alien Resurrection, Prince of Darkness, Paranormal Activity 3, Cry of the Werewolf, Ghost Ship, Chrstine, The Haunting (1999), The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Oct 14

Frankenstein and The Monster from Hell (1974)

Mr Cushing as the mad scientist again. This is pretty weak stuff as far as it goes. Not a terrible afternoons watch but pretty bloodless. 

Oct 14

Spontaneous Combustion (1990)

OMG how have I not seen this? Chris and I were almost rolling on the floor with the hilarity of it all. Brad Dourif (who I LOVE!) is amazingly cheesy as the result of NUCLEAR EXPERIMENTATION. He sets EVERYTHING ON FIRE!! Fire shooting out of his elbow! Heads on fire. Tobe Hooper (or is it POOPER?) shits this little little gem out. The award for the most neon used in one set goes to ...this movie. Serious fun.

Oct 16 

The Thing (2011)

Pretty forgettable. Neatly dovetails the end of this into the original, but has no soul in it at all. Some really nice shots, but that's it. :/

Oct 17

Trick R Treat (2006)

I really love this movie with my jack o'lantern of a heart. A glorious love letter to the best day of the year. I watched this time with commentary and it was well worth it. Some good insights and fun stuff. Almost canon for me at this point. 

Oct 18

Mimic (1997)

What's that shit up there? Better than I remembered. 

Oct 18

Night of the Demon (1957)

I wanted to punch the lead actor right in his smug fucker nose for most of this movie. But don't think that means I didn't like it. I really enjoy this movie. I rooted for Satan again! 

Oct 19

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

I'd never seen this movie but had read the book a few months ago. I couldn't figure out why I knew what was gonna happen. Dumbass I has it. Anyways, this was pretty faithful to the source material, so it was pretty boring. There was some hot ladies in it tho. Not much else. 

Oct 19

The House of Usher (1960)

Vincent Price as a slightly incest-y brother in this Poe tale. Roger Corman directed. I prefer Mr Price not bleach blonde.

Oct 19

The Old Dark House (1932)

Fantastic set piece featuring Karloff as the crazy drunk servant. There is a little bit of the screwball comedies in this, but has enough atmosphere for 2 movies! Loved it. 

Oct 20

Deadline (2009)

This was an incoherent piece of shit. I feel sorry for Ms Brittany Murphy that this was her final work. She also looked terrible in it. And the really bad weave didn't help. Bad bad bad. 

Oct 21

Tales from the Darkside (1990)

This really held up! Debbie Harry is foxy as all get out in the wrap around story. They were all satisfying stories, and really well paced. What can I say? I miss that Christian Slater. 

Oct 21

Alien Resurrection (1997)

You can see the seeds of Firefly in this Joss Whedon penned adder to the collection. Easily the weakest of them, but still fun to watch. Ron Perlman is always great. Fun fact: I'm wearing nail polish that looks just like Ripley's nails in this! 

Oct 22

Prince of Darkness (1987)

I had such a thing for Jameson Parker back in the day. Yeah so this is classic Carpenter. Part of his Apocalypse Trilogy. I think it's my least favourite of the three  but still LOVE IT. Canon.

Oct 23

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

I read this has the biggest opening weekend of any horror movie EVER. And I forked my $$ over too. OMG THIS WAS FREAKY. But I have a real lady boner for haunted house/demon/ghost stories. This is the strongest of the three movies, and the first one I went to see in a theatre. It would have been awesome if there were more people in it, but I sure enjoyed it. Chris got all freaked out too. Can't ask for more than that right?? GHOST!

Oct 2

Cry Of The Werewolf (1944)

Not much werewolf in this. :(((

Oct 25

Ghost Ship (2002)

Aside from some of the vaguely shitty effects this movie is the balls. It stands as one of the best opening set-ups EVER. Truly fucked up stuff that. I sure enjoy the shit outta this flick.

Oct 26

Christine (1983)

My notes say meh. Yup. Meh. 

Oct 26 

The Haunting (1999)

Poor Owen Wilson. His head gets smushed right off. RIGHT OFF. Wanna talk about shitty effects? Here's a good place to start. This is when cgi was just finding it's feet and you can see the awful-ness of it all over this. Also: Lili Taylor bores the shit out of me in this. Fun fact: 2 characters just disappear in this!

Oct 27

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

More a courtroom drama than true horror flick, but has some creepy, creepy moments. I like this.

Frankenstein (1931), Ghost Rider, The Wolfman (1941), The Evil of Frankenstein, House of 1000 Corpses, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Poltergeist

Oct 6

Frankenstein (1931)

I've never seen this. Wow. I see where the genesis of all the modern movies come from as I watch these classics. Karloff was amazing and tragic as the poor monster. Also he was far more nimble than the lumbering monster we all think of. The sets and matte paintings are worth watching for too.. a lost art almost. 

Oct 7

Ghost Rider (2007)

Just shut up. Chris and I both really enjoy this cheese fest. It is funny (intentionally? I have no idea) and goofy and I LOVE YOU NIC CAGE. There I said it. Happy now?

Oct 8

The Wolfman (1941)

Lon Chaney broke my heart in this. He really did. His sweetness shone through and made the story even sadder. I can see how this inspired Benecio Del Toro to become an actor. I just wish he hadn't re-made this nearly perfect movie as a "tribute". 

Oct 10

The Evil Of Frankenstein (1967)

Peter Cushing played the (not very) mad doctor in this re-telling. He is too bloodless to be passionate to be believable but dude.. the monster was pretty rad. Even if he was kind of a pussy monster. I mean he ate a couple of goats and could be hypnotised. It was weaksauce. Sad drippy weaksauce. With a side order of goat. :(((

Oct 11

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

AAAAAAAAAH! I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!!! FISHBOY!! Otis is one of my favourite characters ever. This whole hot mess turns my crank and is so fucking creepy/crawly/gross/nasty/awesome. I love Dr Satan, and Mother Firefly and you know, if this had Brad Dourif in it, it would have exploded into a movie-gasm I would have to have died and gone to hell for. So basically it was pretty good. Oh and we listened to Rob Zombie's commentary which was really good. Informative and kinda funny. 

Oct 12

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

This is a fitting movie to watch after Ho1kC as Zombie seemed to really take most of his inspiration from it. It is a batshit masterpiece. Dennis Hopper (RIP man) was nutso to the extreme in a hymn singing, chainsaw swinging way. Again Mr Bill Moseley is a fucking genius as Chop-Top. I love these gonzo wackadoo flicks. And make sure you watch the very end carefully. Is that Grandma rising up? You judge..

Oct 13

Poltergeist (1982)

A classic. How this was rated PG is beyond me. Canon.